tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post114364194494674413..comments2023-11-03T04:17:39.459-04:00Comments on The Truth About Cocks and Dolls: Money Changes EverythingUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-1143816115956172302006-03-31T09:41:00.000-05:002006-03-31T09:41:00.000-05:00Dolls,We posted at the same time....so i'll throw ...Dolls,<BR/><BR/>We posted at the same time....so i'll throw one more up there.<BR/><BR/>I would not say you had an avoidant personality either. Definitely not. You seem much more of a say Yes person.<BR/><BR/>I think it's not always a quick easy relationship between a character trait and money. You mentioned<BR/>"the idea of having a lot of money scares me, so I feel more comfortable with men who don't have much." This to me indicates that you might have some sort of fear of success. There's probably something else going on here, but just noticing.<BR/><BR/>I don't want to psychoanalyze you or be judgmental; the former because I only know you through this blog (hardly a complete representation) and the latter because there are entirely too many judgemental people on this planet (esp. in America).<BR/> I could be completely right or completely wrong. Probably somewhere in between.<BR/><BR/>something to think about i suppose.coastahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10074652090557322506noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-1143815232455005422006-03-31T09:27:00.000-05:002006-03-31T09:27:00.000-05:00BTW....was the title of this entry a shout out to ...BTW....was the title of this entry a shout out to Cyndi Lauper? It took me a while for that one to hit.<BR/><BR/>Is it lame to admit you love Cyndi Lauper? I'm straight, have strong style, and am socially successful.....and I love Cyndi Lauper. I said it.<BR/><BR/>"When You Were Mine" is one of the best songs ever.....an essential on all true 'best of' 80s music compilations.coastahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10074652090557322506noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-1143815086004711512006-03-31T09:24:00.000-05:002006-03-31T09:24:00.000-05:00Sam,How awful of your friends to take advantage. ...Sam,<BR/>How awful of your friends to take advantage. Money doesn't usually play as much of a role in friendships, but it does come up. I had a friend who didn't use me to such a sneaky extent, but was always broke and because I loved her company so much, often let me pay her way. However, when I needed her to be there for me as a friend, she bailed on me. In fact, she still owes me money, too, which she promised to repay, which I know I'll never see again. I think I just need to stop giving friends or boyfriends money I can barely spare to begin with.<BR/><BR/>Elle,<BR/>I can relate to your situation so much. SO MUCH.<BR/><BR/>Vespertine,<BR/>Wow, 7K! Not to sound all high and mighty, but how can a person take that much money from someone and not even attempt to pay it back? As for you and PhD boy, it sounds like you're both utterly smitten, so if you do move in together, I'm sure you can figure out other ways for him to earn his keep (wink wink, nudge nudge).<BR/><BR/>Pawlr,<BR/>In dreams begin responsibilities.<BR/><BR/>BG,<BR/>Thanks for the recommendation!<BR/><BR/>Jo,<BR/>Wow, you sound really clued in when it comes to managing your funds. I'm sure I could learn a thing or two from you. Actually, I don't know why they don't teach this sort of thing in school, it's so important. And it's not something we can always rely on parents to teach.<BR/><BR/>Coasta,<BR/>Hey, I think it's great that your comment inspired a whole other post and discussion. And you're right, an individual's relationship with money says a lot about their character. Though at the same time, money is something I hate to think about, but I certainly don't have an avoidant personality...<BR/><BR/>Alex,<BR/>You said, "if you have sufficient education, ethics and integrity". That's a BIG "if". I haven't come across many rich people that have all of those characteristics, but if you are one of those people, that's terrific!Dollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01234333432020422776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-1143812172441534972006-03-31T08:36:00.000-05:002006-03-31T08:36:00.000-05:00" having so much that you become way too smug and ..." having so much that you become way too smug and comfortable can bring even more misery"<BR/><BR/>I absolutely do not agree with that. I am 32, run my own small business, and have been living comfortable since 2 years. Life is just so much easier when you dont have to think if you can afford upgrading to a 4star the next vacation trip (or stay a few more days). If you have sufficient education, ethics and integrity there is no way that it will bring you to misery. I guarantee.<BR/><BR/>Come over to Spain sometime and the drinks are on me.alex berrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17639726320085829950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-1143799657258816482006-03-31T05:07:00.000-05:002006-03-31T05:07:00.000-05:00>a recent comment about prenuptual agreements as n...>a recent comment about prenuptual agreements as neccessary evils got me thinking about the role money <BR/><BR/>Wasn't trying to start a shitstorm with that one. :)<BR/><BR/>The thing about money or someone's viewpoint about money (or the way they conduct their finances) is that it is a reflection of each individual's character...a reflection of self. <BR/><BR/>So when someone has a poor way of dealing with money....it reflects an aspect of themselves that you may not respect on some level. The particulars of each situation are different, but on some level there is dissonance.<BR/><BR/>Maybe it reflects how a people treat something valuable in their own lives....they might feel they don't deserve it. Maybe it reflects a lack of emotional maturity or control. Maybe their fear of failure or fear of success. How much they value their time. How much they feel they deserve in life...etc...<BR/><BR/>If a couples' individual attitudes around money aren't similar, then there will be probably be issues sooner or later. The attitudes can be different, as long as one person is open and willing to change.coastahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10074652090557322506noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-1143785181276252352006-03-31T01:06:00.000-05:002006-03-31T01:06:00.000-05:00money issues in relationships. how true. and sadly...money issues in relationships. how true. and sadly quite overlooked at times. i've never had problems handling money. i think it was 'coz since i was 7 years old, my parents gave me a monthly allowance that i managed all on my own. thankfully i've never gone out with guys who have severe money managing issues.johttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16046420719365885236noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-1143760550060526572006-03-30T18:15:00.000-05:002006-03-30T18:15:00.000-05:00You definitely need to read The Richest Man in Bab...You definitely need to read The Richest Man in Babylon by George S. Clason. I just finished reading it and it's awesome.<BR/><BR/>It basically explains how money works and how to deal with it effectively (and also how to deal with people who ask to borrow some money).<BR/><BR/>Really interesting book, the rules are told through stories set in the ancient city of BabylonLifestyle With BGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14389862040958617103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-1143754963001225112006-03-30T16:42:00.000-05:002006-03-30T16:42:00.000-05:00Dolly-Yep. My last relationship ended in part beca...Dolly-<BR/>Yep. My last relationship ended in part because of money as well. He lived beyond his means, and ultimately, beyond mine. In fact, he owes me about 7K, which I know I will never see, and have essentially written off.<BR/><BR/>My current man is a student, and I am an attorney-- clearly, there is a pretty deep financial gulf between us. But we don`t live together, and our bills (outside of groceries and going-out expenses) are separate. That being said, it is something that I think about. <BR/><BR/>I`d like to think that BF and I will make the step and move in together in the future, but I realize that money will find it`s way front and center if and when we do decide to move in. <BR/><BR/>I think the problem is that in love relationships, we want to be giving and unselfish. However, we also need our partners to hold up their end of the deal in order to prevent ourselves from being taken for a ride. This little syllogism proves true outside of financial contexts as well. <BR/><BR/>Therefore, if we can be hardliners on issues like monogamy and emotional support, we should be no less compromising when it comes to money. Is it a little harsh at times? Well, so long as everyone is carrying his or her own weight, no. <BR/><BR/>Nevertheless, I think the next time I head into a situation that involves mixing finances, I will take the hard line-- softened only by lots of communication.Jennifer Simon, Esq.https://www.blogger.com/profile/08405807621514416009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-1143751864892546392006-03-30T15:51:00.000-05:002006-03-30T15:51:00.000-05:00"A relationship to end because of money is ludicro..."A relationship to end because of money is ludicrous"<BR/><BR/>I think it's odd how money sneaks in to affect things even in an untraditional way. My last relationship ended largely because it didn't work long distance. And what dictated my long distance relationship? How much time and money both of us were willing to invest in seeing each other...both sad reasons for something to end, but unavoidable in our case.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05874904882797811689noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-1143746670637429792006-03-30T14:24:00.000-05:002006-03-30T14:24:00.000-05:00Betty,Consider yourself lucky. It's such an unple...Betty,<BR/>Consider yourself lucky. It's such an unpleasant relationship obstacle.<BR/><BR/>Sarah,<BR/>Yeah, I didn't properly edit before posting. All fixed now!<BR/><BR/>Pookalu,<BR/>What a rude thing of your ex to do! I will say, in Poet Paul's defense, that he was generous with <I>everyone</I>, myself included. But to do something as selfish as your ex did is just plain awful. Glad you moved on.Dollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01234333432020422776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-1143745786330003072006-03-30T14:09:00.000-05:002006-03-30T14:09:00.000-05:00yeah, money issues complicate everything. outside...yeah, money issues complicate everything. outside of your own debt, must you really be beholden to someone else's, if you're not related by blood or marriage? if at all?<BR/><BR/>but your statement, "When I go out with friends, the only thing I keep track of spending-wise, is making sure I have enough money for a taxi home." totally rings true for me too. which is why i'm sucking this week until i get paid. not that i am in need of money, or that i don't have a little financial padding (that's relative, as a student), but man, the last time my account was this low was in college, when i bounced a couple of checks.<BR/><BR/>an ex was not very financially responsible -- one (of many) offense to me was when he told me he couldn't buy me a gift for my birthday, then two weeks later bought hundreds of dollars of play things for himself. not even a token gift for me. <BR/><BR/>ok, i'm rambling.pookaluhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17647584778392550880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-1143744377749255952006-03-30T13:46:00.000-05:002006-03-30T13:46:00.000-05:00Poet Pete? Poet Paul? Whoops! Pseudonyms are hard ...Poet Pete? Poet Paul? Whoops! <BR/><BR/>Pseudonyms are hard to keep track of. ;)Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06929841385341392093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-1143744037995449142006-03-30T13:40:00.000-05:002006-03-30T13:40:00.000-05:00Thankfully, I've never dealt with a guy who would ...Thankfully, I've never dealt with a guy who would mooch. I can understand why discussing the topic of money makes you uneasy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com