tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post2167066000840392167..comments2023-11-03T04:17:39.459-04:00Comments on The Truth About Cocks and Dolls: low downUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-8528068323481305452007-03-13T18:25:00.000-04:002007-03-13T18:25:00.000-04:00Read your blog. Very interesting. Though I wont ta...Read your blog. Very interesting. Though I wont talk if Ben was right or wrong.<BR/> though I understand, thats its hard for a woman to see her guy hitting on other women, I still feel theres a missing piece here.<BR/><BR/>you said Rachel thinks that Ben is not all that hot looking or whatever, Judging a person by his looks somehow I find it very shallow. We all are attracted to good looking people period,men and women alike. <BR/><BR/>But thats just a spark needed to start something like dating or relation. Think of it like a spark plug for a car. you need to start things, but you cant base that alone, to keep thigs rolling. <BR/>Sparks work as far as 4-5 dates, may be till the first 3-4 making love. Then men and women might loose attraction or things are not as intense as they were.<BR/><BR/>May be Ben was attracted to a good looking women (like yourself), or may be its your personality. This goes the other way too. on what you guys actually based your attraction on.<BR/>We humans need a challenge to base something on. Even a relationship needs a challenge. take it out both guys and gals are looking for a heart break. to have challenges you need unknown elements to concentrate on. As you slwoly process the unknowns make sure the other end of the unknowns is filling up with more unknowns. Keeps it interesting. Just a thought.YesManhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12008486053822983433noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-33411233994595095262007-03-13T18:20:00.000-04:002007-03-13T18:20:00.000-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.YesManhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12008486053822983433noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-85548619513556532132007-03-10T14:22:00.000-05:002007-03-10T14:22:00.000-05:00My goodness, poor Dolly. That must have been awful...My goodness, poor Dolly. That must have been awfully painful, and I doubt that Ben had the slightest idea what it was doing to you. Whilst he may well realise that you find him attractive, it is highly improbable that he has the slightest idea of how intense that your feelings for him are; indeed, any sane person who might have some clue of the same would resoundingly dismiss such a thought as being the product of an over-active ego. <BR/><BR/>If only you could find a Mr. Cute and Fun but Stable and Kind to play with...Jameshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02508813582631708091noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-87630384881955137292007-03-08T09:59:00.000-05:002007-03-08T09:59:00.000-05:00Would you still date Ben if he asked you out even ...Would you still date Ben if he asked you out even after said situation?randombeatnikhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15983675147719645294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-68452585457147381412007-03-08T07:37:00.000-05:002007-03-08T07:37:00.000-05:00Looks like a clumsy attempt at MM cat-string theor...Looks like a clumsy attempt at MM cat-string theory. <BR/>In an attempt to not focus on the target (you Dolly) he confuses active indifference with basic pick up techniques on Rachel.<BR/>Hence the over use of kino and negs. Unfortunately for her LSS negs were not a good idea.<BR/><BR/>You know all this. It is just difficult for you to see from the inside.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10973714644377744494noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-38463446642927941732007-03-07T23:14:00.000-05:002007-03-07T23:14:00.000-05:00Let me add one more thing: if you want to know whe...Let me add one more thing: if you want to know whether or not someone's behavior indicates interest in you, then it is important to look at how their behavior towards you compares with their normal behavior towards others.<BR/><BR/>Is there anything Ben has been doing with you that is out of the ordinary for women in his bar? Probably not.<BR/><BR/>I'm trying to help you out by being the voice of cold reason: sorry if it sounds harsh, but I think you need a bit of "tough love" on this one :-)Who Knows?https://www.blogger.com/profile/04150314452332319169noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-54561361538348355422007-03-07T22:26:00.000-05:002007-03-07T22:26:00.000-05:00Dolly,If after all this time, Ben hasn't asked you...Dolly,<BR/><BR/>If after all this time, Ben hasn't asked you out or made some kind of obvious move towards a romantic relationship, then he just isn't that interested in you. <BR/><BR/>It is as simple as that. If he were interested in you, he would have made it as clear to you as he did to that married Elle Macpherson-lookalike you mentioned before.<BR/><BR/>That is the cold hard truth: the compliments, and the little kiss on the lips he gave you, and all the rest....it really means nothing when we know he isn't exactly a shy guy, he knows you are interested, and he STILL hasn't done anything significant towards having some kind of relationship with you.<BR/><BR/>It sucks, I know, but you need to find yourself a better boyfriend prospect: all that glitters is not gold :-)Who Knows?https://www.blogger.com/profile/04150314452332319169noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-92183940074448049912007-03-07T21:34:00.000-05:002007-03-07T21:34:00.000-05:00Dolly...first of all, I want to give you a hug. I...Dolly...first of all, I want to give you a hug. I know how you feel and it sucks. Second, my thoughts on the whole thing were exactly the same as Monicker's. I think Mitch has something to do with it.Sister Copinherhairhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14896140845912858618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-83016698339237197452007-03-07T19:41:00.000-05:002007-03-07T19:41:00.000-05:00Dear Dolly,You are what they call...stuck in Limer...Dear Dolly,<BR/><BR/>You are what they call...<BR/><BR/>stuck in <A HREF="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence" REL="nofollow">Limerence</A><BR/>Ditto to what everyone says. you're swell. Love is blind. Step-carefully.Louse Logichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02538384098324964810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-71718941246432133892007-03-07T19:16:00.000-05:002007-03-07T19:16:00.000-05:00Don't know if you've considered this, but:Sounds t...Don't know if you've considered this, but:<BR/><BR/>Sounds to me like Ben is or was into you, but considered you off limits somehow, either because of Mitch (if he knows) or because of your aloofness. It's possible that he's exacting a petty revenge in the form of flirting with other women and treating you like dirt.[]https://www.blogger.com/profile/12009367820320929562noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-40433771783506010942007-03-07T19:01:00.000-05:002007-03-07T19:01:00.000-05:00I think that Ben does like Dolly and he has given ...<I>I think that Ben does like Dolly and he has given her reason to believe that he’s interested.<BR/>Regardless of his attitude I think she can do better than him. He's playing games with her emotions and if he's jealous of Mitch, maybe he should be.</I><BR/><BR/>No, Ben doesn't like her. Guys don't play the same bullshit games that women play. If we like a woman, we approach them and talk to them. If a guy doesn't, he's insecure with himself and plays games -- either way, a woman wouldn't want to be in a relationship with that type of guy.<BR/><BR/>I seriously doubt Ben needs to play those kind of games. He's a bartender and bartenders constantly get hit on by drunk women -- that's not even mentioning bartenders that bare it all on stage! With those kind of balls (no pun intended), he can write his own checks when it comes to cashing in on any woman that catches his eye. <BR/><BR/>To say things like "Ben probably likes Dolly" is just going to fill her with false hopes and confuse the girl even more. She needs to come back to reality, get her shit together, and move on and cut her losses. There are plenty of great guys out there. To be fixated on just one is a waste of time. What has been her return on investment thus far? She's already built up an impossible image of Ben in her mind. Now she's chasing phantoms and projections of what she wants a guy to be like -- and those aspirations are being places directly on Ben. <BR/><BR/>I'm not Dolly, but if I were her, I'd ditch the Cozy Bar for a few months and move on. NYC is a huge town and there is a lot to see -- why waste youth on silly games and impossible situations. <BR/><BR/>It may be hard-hitting to realize the truth but to spend idle time in denial is only going to burn away other possibilities that she's throwing away. <BR/><BR/>Why be miserable when one can be happy? It is stupid.Aphexcoilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14815371848439969566noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-37139194276741365322007-03-07T18:10:00.000-05:002007-03-07T18:10:00.000-05:00I don't understand why you just don't ask him out,...I don't understand why you just don't ask him out, if that's what it is you're interested in. As far as I can tell, as a stranger reading your blog and knowing nothing about you apart from what you post, that seems to be what you're looking for. So, just do it.<BR/><BR/>If there's something that's keeping you at bay, then avoid him.<BR/><BR/>Looking through your past posts, it seems to me that you're making life difficult for yourself with regards BB and while the events related to this post have nothing to do with you personally throwing a spanner in the works, you would never have gotten to this point if you'd either asked him out or walked away completely a few weeks ago which I thought you might have done, to be honest.ruuudehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06344327670428142682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-26247502057964456302007-03-07T16:28:00.000-05:002007-03-07T16:28:00.000-05:00Hi Dolly,Lurking per usual without much to offer i...Hi Dolly,<BR/><BR/>Lurking per usual without much to offer in the way of advice etc., but I wanted to say three things:<BR/><BR/>1) Contrary to the PUA regulars (PUA-nut gallery?) at the beginning of this saga, I'm still really enjoying this line of posts. <BR/><BR/>2) I especially like the revelatory bit in this post about finally seeing through the schtick. Wasn't there a bit in the Voice story you linked to a while back about someone reading the Game and discovering she'd been "negged"? Anyway, it reminded me of something.<BR/><BR/>3) Jenna Mamina does a very nice cover of Waits' "I Hope that I Don't...." Just sayin'. <BR/><BR/>Anyway, thanks again. Reading avidly, I remain,Jack Royhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16815113987687215497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-14994661506250893542007-03-07T14:58:00.000-05:002007-03-07T14:58:00.000-05:00Aphexcoil, I'll clean it up, people can be fickle,...Aphexcoil, I'll clean it up, people can be fickle, is that better?<BR/><BR/>I think that Ben does like Dolly and he has given her reason to believe that he’s interested. <BR/>Regardless of his attitude I think she can do better than him. He's playing games with her emotions and if he's jealous of Mitch, maybe he should be.Writergalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16573586128679097259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-69746135091888394272007-03-07T14:15:00.000-05:002007-03-07T14:15:00.000-05:00::hugs::I still say Mitch.::waves a Team Mitch fla...::hugs::<BR/><BR/>I still say Mitch.<BR/><BR/><BR/>::waves a Team Mitch flag::Red Staplerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12874945256617536899noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-18077740594985798162007-03-07T13:53:00.000-05:002007-03-07T13:53:00.000-05:00Guys can be fickle, they want what they can't have...<I>Guys can be fickle, they want what they can't have.</I><BR/><BR/>Guys can be fickle?? Oh come now, let's be honest -- women are just as fickle as guys. <BR/><BR/><I>By Roommate Rachel not wanting Ben, he wanted her even more.</I><BR/><BR/>Well, I disagree. Ben is a bartender. I've been best friends with bartenders and they constantly get more ass than a toilet seat. Bartenders are great on a social / friend level but I would never date one. That's just asking for unnecessary drama.Aphexcoilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14815371848439969566noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-61507744218605128202007-03-07T13:44:00.000-05:002007-03-07T13:44:00.000-05:00A person like that doesn't deserve your time and e...A person like that doesn't deserve your time and energy. Guys can be fickle, they want what they can't have. By Roommate Rachel not wanting Ben, he wanted her even more.<BR/><BR/>You know that you can do better than him! Enjoy your trip and don't let someone who doesn't treat you right cause you so much pain.Writergalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16573586128679097259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-49951517157349734652007-03-07T13:14:00.000-05:002007-03-07T13:14:00.000-05:00Amare et sapere vix deo conceditur!Amare et sapere vix deo conceditur!Aphexcoilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14815371848439969566noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-83884344635246167362007-03-07T13:10:00.000-05:002007-03-07T13:10:00.000-05:00Wow... i really do enjoy reading your blog. Especi...Wow... i really do enjoy reading your blog. Especially this one. Why? Because you're so honest with yourself, it is inspiring. A lot fo what you write i can really relate to, on a heart level.<BR/><BR/>Ben sounds like he likes you, but from my experience, like the Dave's you've mentioned previously, Ben's like to play games beyond when they're funny.<BR/><BR/>dfmer is right. You're beautiful. Other people have the luxury of thinking what they like, but you have the power to decide what you are and choose your life...<BR/><BR/>Rest up. N have a good cry. It clears the air..<BR/><BR/>A.Ant Wakefieldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00746100444129052241noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-23762326125220112592007-03-07T10:52:00.000-05:002007-03-07T10:52:00.000-05:00Dolly,I'm really sorry to hear about this. I've be...Dolly,<BR/><BR/>I'm really sorry to hear about this. I've been in your situation. It SUCKS.<BR/><BR/>I'm not going to rant on about Ben, but he sounds like a complete egomaniac who seriously lacks in character.<BR/><BR/>Just try to remember how amazing you are. How smart and funny and interesting and talented you are! And how much the rest of us love hearing about your life because you articulate so clearly what a lot of us are feeling.<BR/><BR/>*hug*Leighhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09192089096968270455noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20530625.post-49100056408570638892007-03-07T10:21:00.000-05:002007-03-07T10:21:00.000-05:00Oh man, I'm just some guy reading your blog, but a...Oh man, I'm just some guy reading your blog, but after that I really want to give you a hug. I think, I understand how you feel. It's slowly eating you up, but deep down you don't want to let go, because those feelings are so intense and genuine. Which is better than feeling nothing, right?<BR/><BR/>Just hang in there.Philipphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09318716803041992473noreply@blogger.com