When it rains...

I am pleased to report that both TV Tyler and Arty Adam are still in the picture.

I sent TV Tyler a text message Friday night and he replied by calling me. He made it very clear what an insane week he had, from having to attend a wake to an impromptu visit from his parents to being forced to work all weekend. I know he wasn't bullshitting me. There wasn't any mention of making another date, but for him to call when so much is going on in his life is something. It's too bad I can't help him relieve his stress at the moment, much as I'd like to, but I got an email from him today, so he's doing his best not to fall off the radar. Would it be totally corny of me to confess that I miss him? I do.

Then there's Arty Adam. I went online yesterday and he was the first to instant message me. IM seems to be his preferred mode of communication, maybe because he works from home (and maybe, like me, he hates the phone). He ended up spending Saturday night at home watching movies. Who knows, maybe he had company or maybe it was a quiet night in. Doesn't bother me either way. We had a chat that was nice but seemed to be going nowhere. I had to do something to salvage the situation...

DD: Have you played any more of that video game?

AA: Of course not.

DD: Well, we should play it again sometime soon.

AA: We should.

Pause. I'm waiting for him to do the next part. Come on, Arty Adam, I know you can do it!

AA: How about this weekend?

DD: Sounds good. Friday?

AA: Sure. We could get sushi first.

DD: Excellent.

Ladies and gentleman, we have an official third date. Was that so difficult? What's great is that I don't even have to worry about the whole silly "third date rule". Instead of questioning whether or not we'll have sex, it'll be more a question of whether or not we'll use the handcuffs again. I hope we do! Though if there's spanking or anything else rough, I'll have to be careful not to get marks on my skin, because I'm hoping TV Tyler will ask me out for Saturday.

As much as I love being the one who's pursued, I'm learning how some guys need a nudge here and there. Whether it's a hectic schedule or a somewhat passive attitude, as long as the guy shows interest and reciprocates, I don't think it's so bad to be the one to initiate contact from time to time. Waiting for a guy to do all the work might result in that guy fading away and while it's great to have someone willing to do all the chasing, few men actually do. I also wonder if some males are having a kind of backlash against dumb books like The Rules, that claim a woman must always play hard to get. Anyway, I'm glad my two main guys haven't disappeared.

But wait, there's more!

On Saturday, I spent hours in a bar chatting with a cute lawyer, who asked me for my number before I left. I don't think we have all that much in common (he likes all this music that I can't stand; that could be a problem in the long run), and I generally don't do so well with lawyers, but I'll keep an open mind.

I also have a date on Wednesday with a new guy, from the online personals. I wasn't really looking to add to the rotation, but this one had such an upbeat, creative, and positive energy, I couldn't resist. He was also keen to meet me right away instead of prolonging email chit-chat, which I always appreciate. Oh, and did I mention he kind of reminds of Clive Owen in his photos? Could be some potential there!

On Saturday, when I met PUA Rebel Leader, he asked me if I've been getting laid more since reading some of the pick-up material. I said yes, though I didn't feel like I was actively putting a lot of the techniques into practice. I said I thought it might be a coincidence that I was meeting all these new men.

The thing is, I keep meeting them. And kissing them. And having sex with them. I have probably had more sex in the last two months than I did in the entire preceding year. I don't think that's a coincidence. I haven't been hooking up with more guys strictly because of good luck (though I recognize that plays a part). I'm starting to realize it's more than that and that there's no reason for me to believe the fun has to end...

I (really!) Do

When getting ready to go out with Pretty Polly last night, I expected we'd have a few drinks, have some girl talk, maybe meet some boys, and possibly kiss them.

I did not expect us to end up at a wedding.

I swear, all of the following is true, even though remembering it and writing about it feels surreal.

When I met up with Polly, it was close to 11:00pm and she had already been drinking with other friends, so I had some catching up to do. No problem. I downed a few cocktails, we saw the bar we were in had no Prospects, so we moved on to the next place.

Polly's friends wanted to get dessert, so we stopped at a bar/cafe. At a table near us, I spotted a beautiful sight: eight people, six of them men. I pointed this out to Polly and she said they looked a bit young, around 23. I agreed, but guessed their age to be more around 25 (which is doable). We made a bet on it (loser bought winner's drink) and I said,

"You know there's only one way to solve this. You're going to have to ask them."

Polly went over and started talking to them. The guys were French, all of them 26 (I won the bet). Of the two girls, one of them was a guy's sister, which improved our odds even more. Polly conversed with them for quite a while. I would have gone over and introduced myself, too, but the tables were set close together, so logistics made it impossible. Instead, I waved hello to them.

Polly told the French guys the next bar we were going to and encouraged them to join us later. Go Polly!

While this was a nice way to kick of the evening, I knew we could and would do better.

When we got to our next destination, we were dismayed to see a line of people waiting to get into the bar. What was going on? We passed the crowd and all of a sudden Polly shrieked, spotting an old actor friend.

"Actor Friend! What are you doing here?!"

He was visiting from the west coast and attending a friend's wedding. The wedding was that evening. It would take place in the back room of the bar that we were waiting to get into.

Actor Friend had a plus one and could get one of us in, but was worried about having a second guest. Polly and I weren't worried.

The groom walked by and I congratulated him on his impending nuptials. Actor Friend asked if he could bring an extra guest, the groom said sure, and that non-problem was solved.

We finally got inside the bar, which was packed and buzzing with an immense festive energy. If you didn't know a wedding was about to take place you could have sworn it was New Year's Eve.

There were hot guys galore. We slowly squeezed past people as we tried to get to the back room. Polly and I were giddy. We started talking to a trio of cute Dutch guys, but had to keep moving. A super-tall, super-cute redhead and I smiled at each other as he headed out of the bar.

"You should come with us!" I said, as we passed each other.

We both turned around and he smiled again. I waved for him to come back. The crowd kept us moving in opposite directions.

We reached the back room. It was wedding time!

A friend of the groom's performed the ceremony, which took place on a small stage. It was a wedding between these two absolutely adorable hipsters and included a "vow off". Hilarious. There was a moment during the real vows when I think everyone in the room got teary. It was a bizarre and beautiful event.

But it gets even stranger. Somehow in all the shuffle, I ended up near the stage. The bride threw the bouquet. I caught it.

That's right. I caught a bouquet at a wedding in a bar for two people I never met before in my life.

Then there was karaoke. The guy who performed the wedding was emcee and to kick things off, he sang Billy Idol's "White Wedding". Of course!

I put in a song and went to find Polly. In my search, I ran into a couple of the French guys from the cafe. I talked to them for a minute, but they had a snotty attitude and I grew bored faster than you can say 'escargot'. I started a conversation with a hot guy who helped film the wedding, but his breath was so bad, I couldn't stay near him long. I introduced him to Polly and she was horrified by his breath, too, but she managed to ply him with gum. Not sure how (or if) she made out with him.

I was having a great time, enjoying the happy vibes. I introduced myself to the bride, congratulated her, laughed about catching the bouquet, and promised to invite her to my wedding.

It was sometime during a rendition of George Michael's "Faith" that I ended up standing next to a tall, gorgeous guy, dressed in black, who looked like a brunette, male version of Uma Thurman. I said something about the song to Boy Uma and he said something back, but it didn't spark a conversation. I decided I'd stay where I was and see if he'd check me out and start talking to me again.

He did.

Banter banter banter and we're making out. Somebody singing Simple Minds' "(Don't You) Forget About Me" and it feels like we're in an 80's movie.

Boy Uma's friend came over and gushed about what a gentleman Boy Uma is.

"He is such a great guy." Boy Uma's friend reiterated.

"Is Dolly still here?" asked the emcee, from the stage.

I waved my bouquet in the air and made my way up there. I channeled my best Deborah Harry for Blondie's "Call Me" and had my little rock star moment.

Back to Boy Uma. More kissing and then we're at the bar. Boy Uma bought me a drink, more kissing at the bar, he told me about being an architect, which I found really sexy for some reason, and yet more kissing.

Then he mentioned something about a girlfriend. It's a long distance thing and she knows he fools around with other girls. I told him I have things going on with other guys. I was worried he was going to go into guilt mode, but he probably found it hard to talk about his girlfriend with my tongue in his mouth.

It was time to go. He walked me outside to get a taxi. It turns out he lives less than a mile away from me. Why not share a cab? Why not indeed.

Two stops, we told the driver.

In the cab, we were, of course, kissing some more. There was no mention of him going home with me.

Then he put his hand down my pants.

Let me tell you, when you are high on a stranger's wedding, buzzed from half a dozen drinks, and a hot guy is fingering you in the back of a taxi, it's hard to think straight.

There was only one stop.

I may have mentioned this before, but it can be really tough to get me off when I've been drinking. It takes some serious perseverance. Boy Uma rose to the challenge (no, not that way; he kind of had whisky dick) and he succeeded. We spent the next four hours fooling around and did manage to have sex a few times, though he kept getting soft. Which was too bad for him, but he took care of me many times over. Boy Uma was truly amazing with his hands.

We had a good, natural chemistry, and he would have made a decent fuck buddy, I think (especially since he lives so close by). At the same time, I have a feeling he's still burdened by the girlfriend thing, so I didn't give him my number or email when he left.

I passed out, happy to have the bed to myself. Didn't wake up until after noon.

My Chinese food's here and I'm starving. I think my appetite is justified...

they come and they go

No word from TV Tyler since we parted on Monday. I'm actually not the least bit anxious about it. Things have been hectic at work for me and I imagine it's the same (and worse) for him. No big deal. I feel pretty secure for a couple of reasons. First of all, we had such mind-blowing sex that he would have to be a fool not to want a repeat performance. Second of all, we've been on enough dates at this point where he couldn't do the fade, he'd have to say something about not wanting to see me anymore. My gut tells me that's not going to happen. Third of all, did I mention the great sex? It's worth repeating.

As for Arty Adam... I don't know. We have IMed a few times since Saturday and he seems interested, but still no plans for a third date. He mentioned a bar he was interested in going to (one that I frequent) and I invited him to join my friend and me there this Saturday. He said he probably wouldn't be able to make it, he's not sure how his weekend is shaping up, but he'd call if he changed his mind. Which is fine, a third date with my friend present could be awkward. But how about a "maybe we could get together next week" or something along those lines? Not being sure how the weekend is shaping up means he's holding out for something better. Fair enough. I don't need to see him every weekend. I am just asking for some kind of indication that he does want to see me again. I'm really not sweating it.

So it looks like it will be a sex-free weekend. Oh well. Maybe I'll help PUA Rebel Leader reel in a nice girl or two when I meet him on Saturday.

Speaking of PUAs, I befriended another one!

For those just tuning in, I have a tendency to meet a lot of guys named David, way more than the average person. My first PUA encounter was even with a man named Dave. This PUA is named is David, too, but I don't think he's Trouble the way all those other Davids have been. And guess what, I didn't make out with him! Yes, it's actually possible for me to be friends with an attractive guy and not smooch him. I didn't think I had it in me.

Last night, PUA David, Pretty Polly and I went out to a couple of bars on the lower east side. At the second bar, his older brother joined us. Holy Hottie, Batman! While Polly and Hot Brother were chatting, I leaned over and told PUA David,

"Damn, your family has great genes!"

Hot Brother and I got into an involved conversation. He knows about the pick-up world, but doesn't participate. He knows that's how PUA David and I met. He knows I have a raunchy blog (though he hasn't read it) and am a bit involved with that scene myself.

Even so, we hit it off. He used to work for the same company that I work at now, so we had a lot to talk about. He's also an engaging guy and oh so friendly. He was encouraging me to develop one of my personal projects and mentioned that I was pretty (and sexy!) during the course of the conversation. Our body language was great, knees pressed together, and he'd often lean in really close to say something (yes, the music was loud, but still). He also complimented me on how I draw people in. The thing is, I wasn't sure if he was complimenting me because he was interested or because he was impressed with my interpersonal skills. For all I know, he might think I'm a player (I'm not!) and be wary of me.

This is where it all gets tricky. I met Hot Brother because of the blog. Under normal circumstances, I could just pester PUA David to set us up-- well, actually, I've already been doing that, but it feels more complicated. I have no idea if Hot Brother would entertain the idea of asking me out, but I think he'd lose interest immediately after reading about last weekend's sexathon.

It's ironic, because I've been meeting a lot of people through my blog, but I'm starting to realize how it could become a dating handicap, too. I'm not too worried about it, but it's something I need to bear in mind...

FAQ

Since I started this blog in the beginning of the year, I have been getting comments and emails from all over. I try to reply to everyone, because I figure if someone has taken the time to write me, the least I could do is acknowledge that with a note of my own. Recently, I have been getting asked a lot of questions, ranging from sought-after sex advice to queries into my own life, ranging from thought-provoking to silly. Here is a sample, along with my answers:

Does it make a man less "dateworthy" knowing he is a pick-up artist? Would you date a PUA?

I have been thinking long and hard (ahem) about this for a little while now. It would be pretty hypocritical of me to show so much support toward these aspiring PUAs only to turn around and say I'd never date one. It depends on the guy's intentions and attitude. If he's looking to build up a harem full of threesomes and MLTRs (multiple long term relationships), I'll pass, that's not my thing (yes, I know I currently have two guys on the go, but that's more a fluke than something I set out to do). If he's learning how to attract women as a form of self-improvement with the eventual goal being a serious relationship, that's a different story. Other than sex, not all PUAs have the same motives. I'd probably be a bit more cautious about getting emotionally involved with a serious student of, say, the Mystery Method, but I would not write a guy off for it. I mean, let's face it, I've been studying this material, too. Does that make me less dateworthy? (The right answer, in case you're pondering it, is "no")

What do you look like? Are you hot?

I can appreciate the curiosity, but I need to maintain a certain level of anonymity here in order to write about the things I do. Let's put it this way: I would not be mistaken for a supermodel, but if there was a dodgeball game (or wet t-shirt contest) between Team Hottie and Team Non-Hottie, I'd be on the first team. Logan described me as HB8, which I think is fair.

Do you worry about your dates finding your blog?

Think of the most vehement way I can say hell yes and double it. I have a certain amount of dread of receiving a call or email from TV Tyler or Arty Adam telling me they read the blog. I don't know what I'd do if that were to happen (please don't make me choose, not yet!). Pretty Polly had one of her dates not only find the blog, but leave her a long comment! In her case, it wasn't someone she was that interested in, but it's still a major concern. The other thing I think about is what will happen when I get seriously involved with someone. Do I tell him about the blog? Do I keep it a secret and keep writing about the relationship? I hope you readers appreciate how much I put my heart on the line for you!

Are you a slut?

No, but I play one on the internet. No, for real, I'm not. A slut is indiscriminate. I realize that I often look for love in all the wrong places, but I am selective about who I date and who I sleep with. Perhaps I'm a bit of a kissing slut, but if kissing boys in bars is wrong, I don't want to be right.

I have a small penis. Am I doomed?

Yes. I'm kidding, come back here. No, you are not at all doomed. Develop your fingering and oral (and listening!) skills and you will be a star in the bedroom.

Any more questions?

My Slutty Weekend - Part II (TV Tyler)

Back to recapping the weekend.

Sunday early afternoon (in the middle of a three day weekend), on my way home from spending the night at Arty Adam's. Tired, but no hangover, even though we finished off a bottle of rum the previous night. I slept poorly, partly because I was in a new person's bed, partly because Adam plays music to go to sleep and I was too polite to ask him to turn it off (even at low volume, I have trouble sleeping with music in the background), and partly because his apartment was overheated. Nevertheless, I was in a great mood.

It was a sunny, crisp day out, and I'm sure I had a spring in my step.

I got my morning coffee and called Tyler while walking home. We chatted for a few minutes, commiserating over each other's hellish work weeks and mentioned about how happy we were to have three full days to relax. Since we were both craving low key activities, I asked if he wanted to come over again to watch movies. He did. 4:00pm? Perfect. Gave me a few hours to shower, change, tidy up the apartment, have lunch, and otherwise ready myself to see TV Tyler.

This time I did wear the fancy lacy underwear.

When he came over a little later, it was all I could do not to pounce on him right away. I waited until he took off his jacket.

We kissed hello and I swear, I am still mystified at our chemistry. This guy actually makes me weak in the knees when I kiss him.

It took us ages to decide on a movie to watch, not because of indecisiveness, but because we kept getting... distracted. Then it took us a while to actually watch the film, because we kept pausing it. The movie was foreign and became extremely gory toward the end, which left us both disturbed. When the credits rolled and we started making out again, he stopped for a second and said,

"I don't think I can kiss you right now."

"Oh really." I kept my arms around him and brought my face in. He quickly changed his mind.

We were both still shaken up by the horrifying images from the movie, but I think the released adrenaline and intense emotion worked in our favor.

Basically, we went into my room at a little after 7:00pm and did not emerge again until nearly midnight (for a quick snack, before heading back to the bedroom).

I am trying to find words to describe how amazing the sex was, but I can't because every time I start to think about it, I become unable to type. I have barely been able to think about anything else since.

For one thing, we both beat personal records of number of sessions in a 24-hour period. We couldn't believe that were able to go at it six times without imparting any serious physical damage. I can safely say it was some of the best sex of my life. No whips or chains, no bells and whistles, it was all pretty straightforward and pretty phenomenal.

I don't know about the rest of you, but when I have sex with someone, it can be tough for me to make eye contact. Even with a boyfriend, looking at the guy in medias res can be quite intense and overwhelming and isn't something I am often able to do. I felt so comfortable with TV Tyler that there were several moments where we made and maintained eye contact (and even smiled at each other).

I'm not trying to make this into something it isn't. There has been no talk of a relationship or our feelings for each other. Right now, it's good company and great sex.

However, I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm starting to care about him. Maybe it's the oxytocin talking, but I can't help it. I realize how dangerous that is, knowing that he is lacking direction in his life and has this enormous responsibility of a child living thousands of miles away. He has been through so much with the break-up of his marriage and all these other life circumstances I won't go into, and it breaks my heart a little knowing how much pain he has endured. At the same time, when he talks about it, he isn't self-pitying or looking for sympathy, he merely states these experiences as fact.

On our second date, after making a cutting remark, he said, "I'm a bastard... or maybe I just use that as a way to cover up the fact that I'm really a nice guy underneath it all."

He's sarcastic and deadpan and jokes about having no feelings, but I think that's because he has had to put up a wall after everything he's been through.

The thing is, I know that when we spend time together, we're happy. Yes, right now it's more physical than anything else. We are slowly starting to open up to each other, but we're both still emotionally guarded. There is a lot about the darker parts of myself I still haven't shared with him. I'm not ready, because I don't know what's going on in his head and am unsure of his level of compassion.

Who knows, maybe TV Tyler won't allow himself to feel anything for me at all. I have to be prepared for the fact that at any moment, he might tell me that this is as far as it will ever go, that he can't handle anything more serious.

Or maybe, like me, he realizes that whatever this is, when he and I get together, the rest of the world falls away. Maybe, like me, despite overwhelming reservations, he's starting to wonder if this could be something.

My Slutty Weekend - Part I (Arty Adam)

Arty Adam invited me over to play video games on Saturday night. There was going to be drinking and I wouldn't even be over his place until after 9:00pm. I figured I'd probably spend the night, but told myself I'd be good and wouldn't sleep with him. No action below the waist if I could help it. I even wore plain black undies instead of the fancy lacy stuff.

I wouldn't normally go over to a guy's apartment for a second date, but this was something we started to plan at the end of our first date and I felt like I could trust Arty Adam. Besides, it took seven or eight hours for us to kiss on our first date, I certainly wasn't expecting him to pounce on me when I walked through his door.

He lives two subway stops away from me, so getting to his place was easy. Arty Adam has one of the tidiest boy apartments I have ever seen. There are plenty of movies and books and CDs and arty things, but everything is in its place without being too fastidious. Guys also tend not to have too many decorative elements to their living spaces, but Adam had a detail here and there (like gorgeous velvet curtains) that gave the place a clean and comfortable feel. I also spotted handcuffs by the bed, which I found very promising.

Adam mixed us a couple of drinks. We ordered chinese food and put in a movie while we ate. Then it was time to play. He mixed us more drinks, turned off the lights and put on this scary game which we took turns playing. It was spooky and tons of fun. Eventually, after hours of the game and drinking, we hit a plateau. Plus, I was starting to get sleepy. It was around 4:00am at this point.

"You're welcome to crash here if you want."

I was hoping he'd say that. "Thank you."

We started fooling around and he noticed how tired I was getting, so we got into bed (I am still fully clothed at this point). We made out for a little while, but I didn't even take my shirt off. I was being so good!

And then I did it. I started thinking about the handcuffs. I thought about how laid back Arty Adam was and absolutely had to know.

"Can I ask you something personal?"

"Sure," he replied.

"It's just that I noticed the handcuffs and I've been really curious about something."

Pause. Was I really going to ask him? Yes. I couldn't take not knowing.

"I was wondering whether you're a dom, a sub, or a switch-hitter."

He kind of chuckled.

"Well..." he measured out his words. "I suppose when it comes to that sort of thing... I'm more..."

The suspense was killing me at this point.

"I'd say I'm more dominant," he finished.

Did I hear correctly?

"Really?" I asked. "Really?" I asked again. I may have asked a third time, in fact. "That's kind of surprising, since you seem so laid back."

"Which are you?"

"Well..." now I understood why it's tough to just blurt it out. "I can be a bit of a switch-hitter if need be, but generally I'm a bit more... submissive."

"And your interest in the handcuffs?"

I wasn't sure what he what he was asking. "What do you mean? I was just pretty direct, so feel free to be the same way."

"Okay... do you want to try them out?"

I laughed, nervously. "Let me think about it."

We made out some more and I thought about it for less than a minute. "Okay."

Off with the shirt, off with the bra, on with the cuffs. Arty Adam had a pair for each side of the bed, which was great, because it's so much more comfortable to be tied up with your arms out rather than above your head.

It was so awesome to be handcuffed after all this time sleeping with vanilla guys. For anyone who hasn't experimented with bondage, you have to try it (I'd recommend going a step further and being blindfolded at the same time, but that's something Arty Adam and I will have to save for another time).

I was still unsure how far I'd go with Adam, but he had me naked in no time, and then he was doing such tantalizing things to my body, I just went with it. Hold on, I need a moment to reflect... ahem, anyway. What was I saying?

Yes, naked, tied up, fun fun fun. The cuffs came off and I was ready to reciprocate. My hand traveled south and oh my god, another big one. I thought I struck penis gold with TV Tyler, but I was shocked to discover how... fortunate Arty Adam was, too.

It was at this point I knew there was no way I'd leave Adam's bed without fucking him. Sorry to be crude, but any woman in my place who saw that cock would have done the same thing. It was beautiful. We didn't actually do the deed until the following morning, and it was over a little fast, but you can bet I'll be back for more.

On my way home from Arty Adam's, I called TV Tyler.

(To be continued...)

just when i was ready to give up

I hit my low point on my way home last night, after a little too much wine. I had an excellent time with friends and made a couple of lovely new ones. However, something happened on the ride home, and I suddenly felt so down.

I really thought all my boys were disappearing and I didn't have the energy to go out and meet anyone new. I liked Arty Adam and TV Tyler and was sad at the thought of not seeing either of them again. I was convinced neither would get in touch.

As much as I love to be right, in this case, I'm so glad I was wrong. Arty Adam IMed me a while ago and invited me over for video games. While we were chatting, my phone rings. It's TV Tyler! He apologized for being out of touch but had a crazy week at work. We might get together tomorrow (he said "I'd like that"). Yay! Phew!

Why am I such a freak about these things? I know I should learn to take it easy and be a little more patient. I guess I'm so used to things not working out, I'm a little baffled when they do.

Anyway, I have to get ready for my date with Arty Adam!

Resisting Burnout

Something I always try to keep in mind when I'm going through one of my manic dating periods is how easy it is to burn out. Meeting so many people can be extremely draining. Sooner or later some down time is needed to recharge.

Rather than go on a dating hiatus, I'd rather bring social activity down a notch. I'm more interested in being with friends at the moment.

I'm also preparing myself for my rotation to dry up. I'm not holding my breath for either TV Tyler or Arty Adam to get in touch, especially the former. Pretty Polly is fond of saying that after three dates, it either goes somewhere or it doesn't (and it usually doesn't). Wouldn't you know it, there is no fourth date on the horizon with Tyler. I have to admit, that saddens me on a couple of levels. I did think we had a good rapport and there was potential for something more, which surprised me. But we also had such a strong physical connection that I'm a little baffled why he wouldn't want to continue at least that part of our interaction. I certainly didn't act needy in any way, and I know I didn't do anything to scare him off, so maybe he's just not feeling it. Hey, it happens. Arty Adam is still up in the air. He gets back from his trip today, so I don't expect to hear from him before early next week.

In the meantime, rather than try to fill in the gaps or add to my rotation, I'm going to focus on being with friends and low key solo activity (after all the bar hopping, an afternoon spent reading a book sounds really appealing).

Of course, it's easier said than done.

On Wednesday, I went to an industry event, to catch up with some acquaintances and do a bit of networking. At the bar, I told one of my friends that I was all about chatting with the girls and how the last thing on my mind was meeting anyone (especially at an industry gig, which always lacks Potentials). I had a great time talking to the ladies and spent a portion of the evening at a corner table, away from the main socializing that was going on.

One of the new women I met decided to mingle and I joined her.

We ended up in a cluster of two women and one man. The guy was attractive (he had a brooding Italian/Mediterranean thing going on), but was obviously a player. More cocky than funny. But we somehow got on the topic of confidence and how important it is to convey it (my favorite soapbox of late, so I'll spare the details). I don't even remember what it was, but I said something that really connected with him. I saw a flash in his eyes, he smiled, and held out his hand,

"I'm Player Peter."

"I'm Dolly." I smirked and shook his hand.

It wasn't long before our flirting alienated the three girls in our group.

I could tell Player Paul was not a PUA, though he probably wished he was. There were things he did that were too amateur, like not creating a playful, lighthearted vibe. He was hot, but a little too braggy and overtly seductive. Also, he went out for a cigarette and when he returned, he didn't use a breath mint or gum, so he smelled strongly of smoke (I'm actually cool with moderate smokers, but ones that indulge a lot need to have the breath fresheners handy). Even so, I was amused by his bravado and attracted to him, despite not trusting him the slightest bit.

We exchanged business cards; I wrote my personal email on mine, telling him (say it with me now) that I hate the phone.

He said something along the lines of, "Oh, does that mean I'm going to have to make the first move and get in touch with you?"

"Of course."

I left him for a few minutes to talk to a few more people on their way out and gather my things.

When I found Player Peter again, he was talking to some Asian girl at the bar.

"I don't mean to interrupt your game, I just wanted to say good-bye."

He said I should come back to his place.

"I can't, I want to make it an early night tonight."

"Come on, we can smoke a bowl."

Can we really? After that, can we also play some beer pong? Pretty please? Better yet, can we listen to Phish and play hackeysack?

(This isn't to say I am against getting stoned; I am merely against getting propositioned by someone I met an hour ago to get stoned before we even have a single date.)

"Sorry, I can't."

He accepted defeat and I hugged him goodbye. I kissed him on the cheek and then (I'm sure you could see this coming a mile away) we kissed on the lips. A very nice kiss actually.

I left Player Peter to do his best (or worst) on the Asian Girl.

This was what was supposed to be a quiet, girl-and-networking-infused Wednesday evening. I don't know what's wrong with me. I wasn't trying; if anything I was actively not trying. But fate keeps putting all these kissable boys in my path.

I know I should probably take a break from all of this soon, just to stay balanced. I should, but will I?

V Day Wrap-Up

Last night, Pretty Polly said to me:

"You can't say a full sentence without using PUA lingo!"

I admit, I've been pretty captivated by the seduction community and enjoy discussing my adventures. But what better time to discuss pick-up techniques than on Valentine's Day, within a group of single people!

Polly and I had a very good turnout for our party. Earlier in the night, we did have a few more girls than guys, but when we moved on to the second bar, a few people went home and then we had a perfect male-female balance. It wasn't even about setting up all our single friends (well, maybe a tiny bit). As far as I know, there weren't any romantic connections, but everyone seemed to have a good time.

Since I was something of a co-hostess for the gathering, I focused more on mingling with the group and less on looking for guys to flirt with. And drinking. I volunteered to be a pivot to some of the single guys with us and offered to help them approach some women, but they didn't go for it. There were lots of cute girls at the second bar and I have no idea why they didn't want to meet any of them! Silly boys.

I guess I must have been pretty tipsy by the time PUA Logan showed up. I was happy to see him, because I knew he would liven things up. I gave him a big hug and mentioned that Sarah stepped out but would be back soon (the two of them have casually hooked up).

He smiled and said, "That means I can make out with you for a little while."

So that's what we did, until Sarah showed up and I handed him over. He flirted a bit with Pretty Polly, too, and I think it's just a matter of time before she also makes out with him. Should we have been annoyed that he was looking to hook up with all of us? Who cares? He's cute, he's fun, he's one of the finest flirts I've ever known and we're all single and playing the field.

Anyway, our little party started to disperse, so Polly and I decided to go to another bar. When it's the two of us, that's when the magic happens. Wouldn't you know it, we're not there ten minutes before we're talking to guys.

Polly saw a guy she wanted to talk to, so I opened him for her. I can't believe I did this, but I actually modified one of the PUA lines. I told him we needed a male opinion on something and described a debate we were having about a friend of ours who slept with a guy on the first date, etc. Once he started talking, I stepped aside and walked to the other end of the bar. When I came back, she was talking to a male friend from the party, who followed us to the third bar.

Polly spotted another guy a few feet away and this time she initiated a conversation. At this point, I was a bit tipsier, so I forget the details, but somehow I ended up sitting next to him at the bar and talking with him. He was attractive, but his English wasn't so hot (he's visiting from Estonia). We didn't have much to talk about, so I ended up making out with Estonian boy. The kissing was okay, but the conversation was boring because of the language barriers, so I needed to remove myself from the situation after a little while. I made up some story about my friend being upset about her ex-boyfriend and needing me to comfort her (at least, I think that's what I said).

I turned back to Polly, who spotted a couple of Potentials sitting at a table.

"You want me to open them?" I asked.

Yes.

We went over there, but we didn't even need any kind of icebreaker, because as soon as we asked if we could sit down, the two guys started talking to us. We'll call them Glasses Hipster and Hat Hipster. I sat next to G Hipster while Polly chatted with H Hipster.

I don't even remember what I talked about with my Hipster. Actually, the only thing I can remember we discussed was Pretty Polly's cleavage (don't ask). He was one of those guys that disliked a lot of things. I might have scoffed at some of his hipster music taste. Our knees were pressed under the table and I thought we might start making out at any moment. He was kind of attractive in a surly cool nerd kind of way, I guess.

When I saw it was well past 1am, I knew I had to go home. I said good night to Polly. She was going to come out with me, but I asked her not to, since G Hipster was following me and I knew we were going to make out. She agreed to stay behind (what a good friend!).

Glasses Hipster and I ended up in a doorway. Some light groping and sloppy kissing on his part and I was ready to catch a cab. We exchanged business cards earlier, but for the love of god I hope he doesn't call.

One of our partygoers said something last night that I've been thinking about. He said that girls are happy to meet a guy at a bar or club, make out with him, and go home satisfied, whereas for the guy it's all about the orgasm. I wonder how true that is, because I certainly enjoy kissing for kissing's sake. Though all the random making out is going to get tired eventually. It's so much better to see guys more than once and actually get to know them. Speaking of which...

When I got home, there was an email from Arty Adam sending some photos of his trip (it was a mass email, but still).

TV Tyler and I exchanged a couple of emails yesterday. No mention of Valentine's Day and no plans made to see each other again, but he did say he was happy to have a "real reason to be tired at work." You bet I'm a real reason. Ball's in his court, we'll see what happens.

In the meantime, I may meet up with another NYC-based PUA! The fun will continue...

calling all single boys

Pretty Polly and I are having an anti-Valentine's Day gathering at a bar tonight. We're concerned that we may have more girls than boys.

If there are any NYC-based single guys out there who are interested in drinking with us tonight and meeting some cool people, shoot me an email before 5pm. cocksanddolls at yahoo dot com.

snowed in

When I got home on Saturday night, I was surprised to see an email from TV Tyler. I'm so used to guys waiting a couple of days that it's always refreshing to hear from a date the very next day.

Tyler reiterated that he had a great time the previous night, and asked what my schedule was for the following week. I was so thrown by how direct he was; I decided to follow suit. I offered a couple of days that were clear and also told him that if he got bored being snowed in the following day, he was welcome to come over to my place to watch movies.

In leaving things so open-ended, I realized I created a potentially dangerous situation for myself. I made no other plans for Sunday and wasn't going to leave the house and trek through a foot-and-a-half of snow (especially since I was mildly hungover). Basically, I was setting myself up for a scenario where I was waiting to see if he'd call.

Luckily, he did. He called in the afternoon and after chatting for a few minutes, I reiterated my invitation to come over for movies. He accepted. Do I have to go on about how excited I was? Right.

It was such a gorgeous day, but I didn't feel like playing in the snow, I wanted to stay warm and cozy inside. The fact that I wouldn't have to do so by myself was great.

When Tyler came through the front door, he paused to take off his boots and then swept me up in a big kiss. It was so good to see him and I felt a rush of contentment.

"I'm glad you're here," I said.

"I'm glad to be here," he answered.

I poured us some wine and suggested a movie to watch. I asked if I should choose a boring one first and whether we were going to actually pay attention to the movie.

"Probably not. I plan on interrupting a lot," he said, kissing me again.

It only took us seven-and-a-half hours to watch two ninety-minute movies. You can fill in the gaps. Whenever we were actually watching one of the films, Tyler had his arm around me or we held hands. We couldn't look at each other even casually or we'd start making out again. It was incredible.

I told him I had two very good reasons why we couldn't have sex that night. The first was the basic principle that when a man and woman rush into sex, the man has a tendency to lose interest whereas the woman tends to get attached. The second reason was my period. Tyler said he didn't see where either point would be an issue, but would respect my decision not to sleep with him.

Of course, once we were in my room and sexy music was playing and we were both naked from the waist up, I think we both knew it wouldn't be long before I went back on my decision.

Can I just say how terrific it was, after being with a few men who were average or a little below average, to reach down and get a much bigger surprise than I expected? Wow. Talk about not judging a book by its cover. You look at this guy and he looks like this conservative choir boy but you strip him down and he's this well-hung hottie with unbelievable stamina.

It didn't take me long to give in, did it? The fact is, I really wanted to, we both really wanted to. The last time I was in bed with a hot guy in my underwear and didn't have sex, it was one of the most maddening experiences of my life and I didn't want a repeat of that (and you know what? I never saw that guy again anyway, so we might as well have had sex). The chemistry I've been experiencing with Tyler has been beyond intense. If I didn't follow it to its logical conclusion, I think I would have done myself internal damage.

I know I'm going to sound like a total chick here, but you know what was even better? The cuddling afterwards. I know, I want to roll my eyes, too, but we slept in each other's arms all night and it was amazing. He even passed the major cuddle test: when I rolled away from him, that would normally be the point where I separate from the guy for the night, unless I roll back to where he is. Not so, in Tyler's case. He would always roll over in the same direction and spoon me. It was the best. (And we woke up in the middle of the night and had sex again, which was pretty cool, too.)

So now it begins. The post-coital freakout. The waiting to see if I'll hear from him. Because I don't expect to. Honestly, I've had so many guys fall off the radar, at this point I'm surprised when I do hear from the guy. Which is why I'm playing it safe and keeping the rotation going, as much as I really don't want to.

He's not going to write tonight; it's Monday and he's probably as exhausted as I am. Tomorrow he gets a grace period for Valentine's Day (no girl in her right mind would expect anything for V-Day after three dates). Realistically, I won't get word before Wednesday, but realistically on Planet Dolly, I won't get word at all. Might as well prepare for the worst, right?

When Tyler was walking me home on Friday and I was explaining how he couldn't spend the night, I said,

"Hey, at least this means I'll get to see you at least one more time."

He laughed a shocked laugh and asked, "Do you really think I'm that much of a bastard?"

"No, I'm just going by precedence."

I don't mean to sound cynical or pessimistic, I'm just bracing myself. Who knows, maybe Tyler will turn into an FB, or something more. In the meantime, until I know where I stand, and also to make sure I don't start acting clingy and weird, I'm going to keep seeing other people. It's too soon for me to start investing too much into this.

TV Tyler - Take Two

I have been thinking about him all day. I have barely been able to concentrate on anything else. I don't think I could ever get tired of kissing him.

You know that obnoxious couple in the bar who spends all night making out, who nobody wants to sit near? Tyler and I were that couple last night.

I didn't think I would have much energy for the date at all. I've been out every single night this week and by Friday it was starting to catch up with me. I asked if we could meet later, at 9pm, so I didn't have to rush around (the way I have been the rest of the week) and he said that was fine. I was flagging at the end of the work day, barely made it through a rigorous workout afterwards, and catnapped on the subway home. Somehow, by the time I showered, ate a rushed dinner, and prettied myself up, I got my second wind (hooray for being a night person).

I was so pleasantly surprised at how well our first date went, but I didn't want to have high expectations of the second date. Little did I know...

He was waiting for me at the bar and gave me a warm hug hello. Mmm, is there anything better than a hug from a hot man? Well, yes, there is, but we were in a public place.

We took our drinks to the back where we got cozy on a love seat in the vicinity of the fireplace. It couldn't have been a more obvious make-out area if they hung up a neon sign (Tyler later complimented my choice of bar).

I sometimes worry that the conversation will dry up on a date, especially in cases where I don't have a ton in common with the other person. Tyler and I have some overlaps, but he teases me about some of my music tastes and some of his reading tastes are way more high-brow than mine. Yet we had no trouble finding things to talk about. And I wasn't bothered by his lack of question-asking, because our chat had a natural flow to it.

Have I mentioned the chemistry? Because holy good god was there a lot of it. As soon as we sat down, he tilted his body toward me and put his arm along the top of the couch. Our knees pressed together and once in a while, he lightly touched my back as our faces moved progressively closer.

Tyler looked so good in a black turtleneckck and wool jacket. He had a sexy professor thing going and I wanted to be the naughty student. I'd ike to find out his idea of extra credit, if you know what I mean (and I think you do). Anyway, where was I?

Right. Couch, fireplace, drinks, and an irresistible man sitting kissing distance from me.

And then he was kissing me.

The very first time we kissed, last week, it was good, but not breathtaking. It just goes to show how chemistry can increase over time, because last night, it was breathtaking. It was like drowning and flying at the same time. My whole body came alive kissing him (I don't even care how corny that sounds). You know how in movies they make screen kisses to be these sweeping, passionate events that kissing in real life is never like? Well, it was like one of those heart-stopping screen kisses. Except that the kissing--and that feeling-- went on for hours, not just the duration of one scene.

It wasn't just a physical connection, either. We got along so well as we got to know each other better. We made each other laugh a lot (god, he has the sexiest laugh). He held back from telling me stories of himself that painted him in a bad light because he wanted me to like him better first. He enjoyed seeing my sarcastic/acerbic side come out. He murmured naughty things to me in foreign languages, which I told him not to translate because I was blushing as it was. He massaged the back of my neck in a way that rendered me incapable of forming complete sentences.

Sex was out of the question. First of all, I'm on the rag. Second of all, despite what I said about seeing potential in him as a fuck buddy, I think I like him too much as a person now to be able to casually sleep with him. I swear, I'm such a girl sometimes.

Like last time, Tyler insisted on paying for everything ("I'm chauvanistic that way") and he walked me home. We were a mile away but it took nearly an hour because of all the stopping we would do to make out. He said he respected my decision not to come home with him or vice versa, but that his job was to make that decision as difficult for me as possible.

Let me tell you, he did a great job. If it wasn't for my period (which I have never been so grateful for in my life), I don't think I would have had the discipline to say no. I could barely stop kissing him to say goodnight and go into my building.

Oh, and the craziest thing happened on the way home. I saw I had a couple of text messages and checked them because my phone kept beeping (I realize this is rude and I should have just switched it off). One of them was from a friend at a nearby bar, but the other was from Jon, the terrible lay from the end of last year. I hadn't heard from him in over a month!

As if that wasn't bad enough, while I was trying to say good night to Tyler, my phone rang-- at 3:30 in the morning-- and it was Jon! This bothered me, because I was worried Tyler was going to think I was some kind of player (no comments from the peanut gallery, please). I sent him a text later saying, please don't call me anymore. Didn't want to do it, but he gave me no choice.

Back to Tyler. Did I mention what a gorgeous, perfect face he has? He does. I get such a rush looking at him. Anyway.

This is how we parted:

"I had a great time." I murmured between kisses.

"I had a nice time, too," He said.

"I said great, you said nice."

"I'm from ______ [state he grew up], we're understated there."

"Fine, I'm downgrading you to 'nice', too."

More kissing.

"I had a wonderful time tonight," He said.

"I had a nice time."

"I've had worse."

"It was okay, I guess."

"It was tolerable."

"Comme ci, comme ca."

Even more kissing and I finally went inside.

Phew!

I can't believe I had two amazing dates back to back like that. Am I finally cashing in all my dating karma chips?

I'm in a bit of a tailspin over this. What if things continue going this well with TV Tyler and Arty Adam? What if I have to choose between them??? I've never had to choose before. I don't know what I would do. Also, I thought the fact that Tyler is a parent would bother me, but whether it's the hormones or the fact that Tyler is being such a gentleman, I see real potential for something with him, too.

Adam is going to be away this week, so not getting hung up on him is going to be easy. Tyler, on the other hand, has already gotten under my skin and I am eager to see him again. He also lives a couple of blocks away from me, so now I brace myself for the possibility of running into him when I leave the house. On top of that, if I do see him again, resisting the urge to sleep with him is going to be damn near impossible. Should I hook up with someone else to keep me on my best behavior with the Potentials? Seems counter-intuitive, but it could very well work. At the same time, I'm unsure about adding anyone new to my dance card until I see how things go with these two.

I'm so glad tonight is going to be a more low-key outing with friends. For once, I am actively not looking to meet someone new.

Arty Adam

Wednesday night I had my first date with Arty Adam. I was looking forward to this one.

Adam contacted my via MySpace a few months ago. I normally don't use MySpace as a dating tool, because I have gotten way too many emails from guys looking to add to their butterfly collections (if I click on a guy's profile and see most of his friends' pics are girls in their underwear, that's an immediate no). However, Adam and I bonded over a particular photographer we both love and discovered several other things in common. We exchanged a few more emails and then I dropped off the radar. A couple of weeks ago, I saw him on an online personals site. He had some new photos up and looked mighty cute. There was also a hint in his profile that he was into BDSM, which is excellent, because I haven't had a good spanking since last summer.

I wrote to him via MySpace, but mentioned I saw him on the OP site. He was happy to hear from me and, after a few emails and IM chats, we made a date to meet.

He lives two subway stops away from me, so I chose a bar a block away from my place (I love having local dates!). I had a meeting run late that day and, despite my proximity, ended up being 15 minutes late, but Adam didn't mind and accepted my profuse apology.

He was attractive in person: tall, dyed-black hair, pierced ears, laid back disposition. I decided within the first half hour that I wanted to kiss him.

One of the things I like most about Adam is that he isn't Normal. You know how there are some people that "get it" and some that don't? People that are distrustful of the mainstream and aren't afraid to go against the grain? Adam is one of those people. We have similar ways of looking at the world and I got this feeling that he would be able to understand things about me that many other men haven't been able to understand. There were even a couple of things he said that kind of struck me at my core (this was a good thing).

That, taken with how friendly, cute, and interesting to talk to he is, makes for a good amount of Boyfriend Potential.

One thing that gave me pause was how passive he seemed. For the first couple of hours at the bar, apart from our hug hello, we had no physical contact. After a couple of drinks, we sat close enough that our arms and knees were touching, but he didn't initiate anything like holding my hand or putting an arm around me. I was starting to wonder if he was interested in me. Then, we were talking about observing people and situations and he said he could infer certain things between the two of us.

"Really? Like what?" I asked.

"Well, I think as we've been talking there's clearly a mutual attraction between us and our body language has changed to reflect that. You could say it's intentional or unintentional."

"What do you think it is?"

"I think it's intentional."

In that moment, I was ready to pounce on Arty Adam. What a great, ballsy thing to say. And I was starting to think he was too passive.

Actually, he is rather passive. I'm also not sure how much he's into S&M based on something he said during our conversation, though there's always bondage. Now I just need to find out if he's a dom or a sub (or, in a best-case scenario, a switch-hitter). I suppose that's not a conversation we have to have on a first date (though I've certainly had it before). Hopefully, he's not completely submissive.

Anyway, we were at the bar for--I'm not kidding here-- seven hours before we kissed. I was tempted to take his hand or do something to initiate, but held steady. He said he's very patient. I was determined to be the same, at least that night. We probably consumed a bottle's worth of wine each and I was pleasantly drowsy and lightly buzzed, though far from drunk. There was a long pause in the conversation, then we both shifted our bodies and it's as if the air around us changed, too. Just when I started to think it wouldn't happen, we looked at each other and that was the moment.

We kissed until they kicked us out of the bar, 4:30am. Slow, sensual, sleepy kisses. He smelled so good, too (I love it when men wear good cologne. I have a list of three now that are my favorite, his being a new addition). He walked me home and we agreed to meet up when he returned from a week-long trip, to play video games (I have a geeky streak, so sue me).

He sent me an email the next day, not twelve hours after our date ended, saying what a great time he had and reiterating wanting to see me. Yay!

I like this one. So much potential. Which means I am not allowed to sleep with him for at least a month--or a few dates. Considering that I'll be going to place for our second date, that may be tough, but I'll do my best.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get ready for my second date with TV Tyler...

Boys are Being Nice to Me... This Does Not Compute

I sent Viggo an I'm-not-feeling-it email yesterday afternoon. Last night, he called me just before 6:00pm. The message was painful to listen to. It seemed like he hadn't read my note, or else why would he call to chat and see when I was free to hang out? On the other hand, he sounded sad, which made me suspect he might have read the email after all, though I was puzzled as to why he'd still call. When I got home, there was an email reply from him. I cringed, expecting him to call me a nasty bitch, or worse. This is what he wrote:

Its cool if you want to hang out as friends. I think you are a fun person and fun to talk to.
I have to go now. Give me a call later if you want to bs or chat.

Aww... Do you see what I mean about him being a nice guy? Can you feel my shame and guilt radiating from the computer?

I can't call or email him back, I just can't. That was supposed to be my "good-bye, maybe I'll see you around" final message. The idea of further contact fills me with dread, terrible as it sounds.

Then there's TV Tyler. I thought we were going to have some trouble fixing up a day for our second date. I gave him Wednesday and Friday as free days, but made a date for Wednesday when I didn't hear back quickly enough. He said Friday might not work because a friend may be visiting that weekend. I said we could always do it next week, no problem. The next day, he wrote and confirmed Friday, saying he wasn't going to be at the mercy of his friend's schedule. Good job putting your foot down, Tyler! Besides, if he's lucky, he'll find out it's so much nicer to be at my mercy...

Then, on Tuesday, I got an email from my favorite up-and-coming PUA, Logan. He asked if I wanted to be a pivot that night, at a party for the Penthouse Pet of the Year. I was happy to oblige. I figured any party that's going to feature a Penthouse Pet is going to draw lots of men to see her. She is only one person and wouldn't be able to talk to all of them at once, so...

The bar was cozy and smaller than the type of place I'd imagine a model would go to celebrate being Pet of the Year. It was actually cool that it was a low-key event, instead the of drooling hordes I thought might be in attendance.

Logan showed up with another pivot, Miss K. She and I bonded right away. I laughingly played my part as one of his babes. Logan was very touchy-feely, put his arms around me and Miss K, and took turns flirting with us. I don't know if people there thought he was The Man or The Gay Best Friend. I danced with Logan, even though nobody else was dancing. He helped create a fun atmosphere in what would have otherwise been a very downtempo setting. (This is why PUAs can be so awesome; they liven things up.)

The Pet of the Year eventually showed up, and she wasn't what I expected. I thought she'd be an Amazonian Pamela Anderson type, with legs up to her neck and a big cloud of bright blonde hair and gleaming teeth and glowing fake tan. The Pet turned out to be a petite, pretty girl with a nice figure but nowhere near as gorgeous as I expected. Still very attractive, though.

I dared Logan to walk up to her and say, "It's hard to recognize you with your clothes on". He didn't accept the dare.

After some more dancing and flirting, Logan finally approached her. They chatted for a few minutes, and it seemed to be going fairly well, despite the fact that he used a ridiculous opener on her involving horses.

I talked to a few guys myself, including a decently-cute one who was there for a friend's going away party. Ultimately, I didn't find him, or anyone else there, enough of a Potential to add to my rotation. Which was fine, because I still enjoyed talking to Miss K and being Logan's arm candy.

Later in the night, I saw Logan talking to the Pet again. It was time for me to go, and I didn't want to interrupt him, so I asked Miss K to say good-bye for me. I went outside and was about to walk up the street when Logan came out.

"You're leaving me?"

I said I needed to make it an early night, he was doing well in there, we'd probably see each other again, etc.

We hugged good-bye and I gave him a friendly kiss on the lips. He didn't let go, so I gave him another friendly kiss. This turned into a friendly kiss with tongue... which turned into a friendly mini-make-out session. This was actually very surprising; I expected it to be a kiss-free evening.

"I just wanted to give you something to blog about," he said.

I laughed. "That is so nice of you!" I said sarcastically. Because lord knows, if it wasn't for Logan, I would have nothing to write about.

"Have a good night." I walked to the subway and at some point realized I was still wearing his black cashmere scarf. Which worked out nicely, because I left my own scarf at the bar. Mmm... cashmere...

So yeah, I smooched another PUA. Chances are, if I spend enough time around a single, attractive guy, sooner or later we're going to end up in a lip-lock. I'm a kissing slut, I can't help it.

Logan ended up dancing with the Pet and getting her email. Not too shabby for a Tuesday night, right?

The Dating Trifecta

Before I delve into last night's field report, which Logan wants me to write because he factors heavily into it, I'd like to discuss a phenomena that happens to me pretty rarely these days.

The Dating Trifecta.

I think, at the height of my dating frenzy, I had up to four dates a week. Three a week wasn't uncommon. These days, I try to keep it down to one or two, because otherwise I start to get people mixed up (on Monday, Viggo even said, "I don't know who you've been talking to" when I mentioned a different martial art to the one he was practicing). With all the blog aliases I give my dates, keeping track of names can also be a bit of a strain (I kept wanting to call Viggo "Viggo" instead of his real name). Plus, marathon dating can become repetitive and draining.

Which is why this week is a bit of an anomaly for me. Even more so, because one of my dates is a second date, with TV Tyler.

I wonder if ladies enjoy doing this kind of juggling. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. Right now, I have the stamina for it.

I suppose a true trifecta would involve all three dates being successful, and Monday's night out already proved otherwise. But who knows, tonight might go well, and Friday with Tyler might pan out, too. Would that count as a perfecta? (Have I just opened the door to lewd innuendos involving horse racing?)

Place your bets...

Viggo is a No-Go

You know it's a bad sign when you dread an upcoming date. It took over a week to schedule the one with Viggo. It got to a point where I was hesitant about meeting up at all, but since the last time I saw him was in between doing shots and dancing on the bar, I figured he was worth a date. Especially since I remembered him being a sweet and attractive guy.

Even so, I had misgivings. First of all, he's a lawyer. As much as I love my lawyer and law school friends, I would have trouble with all the long hours. It was a miracle that we were able to coordinate our schedules at all and Viggo could not meet earlier that 8:30pm on a Monday, coming straight from the office. Call me high maintenance, but I want to be with a man who is going to have time for me, and not just on the weekends. Moving on.

There was an event at a downtown lounge that I wanted to attend last night, so I asked Viggo to meet me there. I figured if it was a nice atmosphere we could stay there; otherwise, there were lots of other options in the area.

When he arrived, he was as just about as cute as I remembered, but... shorter. Not midget-short, but a few inches shorter than me and I was barely wearing heels. I'm not going to make a big point about this, because I have been head over (high) heels for guys smaller than me, so I can get past this. However, I generally like guys to have some height on me (it makes me feel dominated, rowr).

Viggo bought me a drink and we took a couch in the back. He loosened his tie, leaned an arm on the back cushion, and looked interested in everything I was saying. I held onto my drink for dear life and hoped my smiles looked genuine.

I really, really tried. This guy has Good Boyfriend written all over him (as opposed to the last guy I was serious about, who should have had Manipulative Bastard tattooed on his forehead). Viggo's attentive, with a secure career, an interest in self-improvement (via martial arts), and an aura of general goodness about him.

And yet, I couldn't wait to get out of there. We weren't connecting. We had a ten minute conversation about swords. I have less than no interest in swords, yet I was asking him about his swords in order to keep the conversation going.

After about an hour and one drink, I couldn't take it any more. I pled tired.

Viggo walked me to the subway. He mentioned getting together over the weekend and I made positive murmuring noises and said he should call me (when, in fact, one of my pet peeves about him was how he insisted on calling all the time, instead of texting or emailing). We had a neutral hug good-bye and he kissed me on the cheek. I felt so guilty that I gave him a quick peck on the lips. I accidentally gave him a static shock on the nose, which is probably the last spark we'll ever share.

I promised to email him the next day. Today. I didn't email him. I feel like an asshole.

Should I send the I-can't-see-you-anymore email or hope he read my signals? He seemed disappointed that the date ended so early. He might call me again. Should I wait to see if he calls and then email? I don't want to mess up my dating karma here, and I also don't want to hurt this nice guy's feelings.

I know you've all been there. What would you do?

Sarging (Friday Night, Part II)

Let's see, where was I? ...

Ah yes, Friday night, Lower East Side bar. Logan is looking at me in surprise because I just recognized him as a pick-up artist.

Pretty Polly squealed.

"I want to go wherever you guys are going," I said.

Logan regarded me for a second. "We're in the middle of a seminar."

"Great! I'll be your wing-woman."

"You wanna be our pivot?"

"Yes!"

He considered it.

"I have to think of what to tell the other guys."

I rolled my eyes.

"You're a pick-up artist. Tell them you picked me up."

He agreed to let me come along. I had my coat on faster than you could say "average frustrated chump."

Polly told me to send her a text letting her know where we were going to be. Sure thing.

Outside, I smiled and greeted the cluster of guys waiting for Logan. The other guy heading up the seminar was a tall rocker-looking guy in a Guns 'n' Roses t-shirt (henceforth he will be known as GnR). I think GnR may have been the ringleader; he seemed particularly self-possessed. I was introduced to the group and asked them if they had their inner game going.

"Oh yeah!" Colin, a PUA-in-training answered. I didn't believe him.

Here's the thing. It was really obvious which guys were the trainees and which ones were the real thing. Even though they were good-looking to begin with, the PUAs radiated a charisma and swagger that made them that much more attractive. Then you had someone like Colin, who was just as good-looking, but had an insecure vibe about him that made him less compelling.

Logan and I chatted while the group decided on a new bar.

"Did you read The Game?" he asked.

"That, among other things." I mentioned some of my interactions with the PUA community.

"You're only the second girl to ever catch me out."

Logan was very friendly and touchy-feely and we flirted in a casual, natural way, though I knew we wouldn't hook up. It was more like talking shop.

"You're my one-itis." He said in a faux-wistful way.

"Aw, I bet you say that to all the girls." I laughed.

I recalled what that other PUA said about the importance of creating a vibe. That's what Logan, GnR, and the boys were trying to do, and they had a very positive energy about them (though most of it came from the PUAs themselves).

We stopped into one bar. It was pretty dead. GnR looked around and said, "there's nothing here."

Outside, a trio of girls lingered on the corner.

"Who's going to take that set?" Logan asked.

Colin volunteered.

"Somebody should go with him."

"I'll go," said GnR.

The two went over to the girls and got turned down. GnR skipped down the street, not the least bit fazed.

We ended up at a basement bar packed with people. This was more like it.

Polly and the other girls showed up a little while later. Sarah and Logan were introduced and she said something bitchy to him. Uh-oh, I knew what was coming. True to my suspicions, they were dancing and making out the next time I saw them.

I felt so energized, so outgoing. I smiled at anyone remotely interesting-looking. I walked like I owned the place. I walked like there was no way anything could interfere with the great time I was having (because nothing could!).

There was a crowd at the bar, and I stood behind a girl waiting to get served. I turned around and noticed a tall, lean guy behind me, in a plaid shirt. I have a weakness for really tall men, and sometimes an average-looking guy is hotter to me if he's got lots of height. Anyway, Plaid Shirt and I made eye contact, and while he was behind me, he leaned against me and put a hand on my waist. I went with it and tilted my head back to give him a tiny smile.

"I'm talking to this other girl here, and I don't want her to see, but would you let me buy you a drink?"

"Sure. It'll be our secret."

We switched places and he got me a cocktail. Lovely.

I went back to check on the girls, and they seemed to be having a good time (well, Sarah certainly did!). Polly said some creepy guy was talking to her.

"There he is!" She pointed to Plaid Shirt.

I laughed. Polly must have been the girl he was talking about.

In a strange and somewhat unwise move, I ended up dancing with Plaid Shirt and briefly making out with him. He was not a good kisser and he kind of smelled, so I quickly disengaged.

Later on, back at the bar, I saw GnR who was picking up a cute, petite blonde girl. I stood next to her and GnR exchanged conspiratorial smiles over her head. A Smiths song came on and Blonde Girl and I happily sang along,

Sweetness, sweetness I was only joking when I said I'd like to smash every tooth in your head.

We laughed and I said, "I've been on a Smiths kick lately."

"Who doesn't love the The Smiths?" She asked.

"I can't even imagine." I gave them another smile and left, ready to work the room some more.

Something that became clear to me is that when you're switched on, you need to be switched on for everyone, even the people you aren't interested in. This way, the positive flow of energy doesn't get interrupted. Besides, isn't it better to get turned down by a sad smile and a shake of the head instead of a frown and bitchy comment?

I sat on a barstool, surrounded by a group of men I wasn't into, but I talked to them for a few minutes. I wasn't leading them on, I was just being nice. It was time to see who else was around, though. A couple of hipsters straight of of Williamsburg hit on me, but I wasn't interested. One of them was wearing a handkerchief around his neck. Oy. Also, if I'm dancing with my back turned to you the entire time? That's not an invitation to start grinding with me.

Anyway, I ended up talking to a hot black man; let's call him Seal. Seal was a sweetheart, but a bit too insecure for my tastes. He kept saying how he probably wasn't my type and seemed miffed when I left for a moment to say good-bye to GnR.

I told GnR, "Tell Logan to email me. I want to go out with you guys again, you have such a good energy!" He smiled and nodded.

Seal apparently thought what I said to GnR was, "I think you are the tastiest thing since peanut butter and chocolate together and want to bear your tall, spikey-haired children!"

Sheesh.

Even so, Seal and I had a good time talking about movies and we ended up making out on a couch until 4:00am. He wanted me to go home with him, but I wanted to go home solo. I did give him my email address ("I hate the phone") but he didn't believe that I'd want to see him again. There's just no pleasing some guys.

The house lights came on and I waited while Seal got his coat. While I stood there, I spotted a cute guy by the entrance (I was a bit tipsy at this point, so I barely remember what he looked like other than he was a cutie). I smiled at him and he smiled back and nodded.

Outside, Seal went to hail me a taxi and I waited about ten feet away. Cutie approached me and we surreptitiously murmured something to each other. I fumbled in my purse and said, "I'm trying to give you my card." He said yes, he'd like my card, and I slipped it to him just as Seal caught me a taxi.

During the ride home, my head was swimming with everything that happened that night. To sum up:

Number of guys kissed: 6

Number of numbers/emails given out: 3 (though one was to Logan, so it doesn't really count)

Number of guys who propositioned me: 2

It was quite an evening.

Logan emailed me the next day and promised we'd go sarging again. We better!

This morning, there was a voice mail waiting for me when I got to work. Saturday, 4:15am. It was from Cutie. He said he had wanted to talk to me. He left me his number.