Friday, April 21, 2006

Outed... What now?

It had to happen sometime, right? Having my blog discovered by a date was an inevitability, partly because of my big mouth and partly because that's just how things go in the world of blogging. Sooner or later, they find out.

In Drama David's case, better sooner than later. Not that it wasn't still painfully awkward.

Where was I? Yes, the printout.

"I thought I had more time." I reached for my gin and tonic like a drowning man. Ordered another one the very second I spotted the waiter.

Hang on a second. He told me this after we kissed. That must mean...

"How much did you read?" I asked.

"Enough to know I wanted to see you again."

I still couldn't look at him. The waves of shock, embarrassment, horror as I recalled more of the entries he would eventually read. The slutty weekends, the multiple make-outs, the pick-up artists, the cocaine! Oh noooooooo...

He put his arm around me. He kissed me. He let me mutter incoherently and bury my head in his shoulder. In fact, I think he was a bit amused by my extreme reaction.

Drama David handled my freakout like a true champ. It was going to be okay.

I pleaded with him to tell me how he found it. It was through Polly's old blog. A random and ingenious Google search led to an entry Polly wrote about him. That led to her current blog, which is inextricably linked to mine. I laughed pained laughter recalling our recent entries in which we both quoted Drama David's email to her. Which, incidentally, wasn't to get her blessing. He sent her that note because he knew she'd tell me about it. Very clever, that David.

But wait. Don't all the books and techniques tell you you're supposed to act like you're not too interested in the other person? Aren't we all supposed to play it cool and not make it obvious that we're into the object of our affection? That's why men love bitches and women love bad boys, right? Here we were, Drama David and I, being nice to each other. Being openly affectionate. Surely we were going about it all wrong.

Whatever the case may be, it was an immense relief to have so much out in the open. I was able to speak freely about things that I've had to withhold from many others, like my involvement in the PUA community. I even told Drama David that I'm a scheduled speaker at a seduction seminar this summer and mentioned how I should bring him with me as a role model for other guys.

Funny enough, after a conversation several weeks back with a male friend, David ordered a copy of The Game.

"Now it looks like I won't even need it," he said.


"Because I met you."

... My jaw probably dropped open after hearing that. There was probably blushing, too.

This quite possibly ranks as the most surreal date of my life. It was strange and lovely and there is a great deal of anticipation for our next date on Monday. I have even been given homework: a list of songs to download by one of Drama David's favorite artists. So far, so good.

Several people have expressed concern that this blog will be coming to an end. Silly rabbits, that's not going to happen! True, the dynamic of the blog is evolving, but it has been doing so for a while now, from the beginning even. If the last few months have taught me anything, it's how wild and unpredictable life can be. In many ways, this blog has been a chronicle of my surprises. This is the latest one.

Drama David, wave hello.

(You all better be nice to him!)


Mr. Woland said...

Interesting. A related question is whether those of us who comment will still feel unrestrained in sharing our thoughts regarding Double D. Its not like I know the guy, but for some reason the knowledge that even a stranger will likely read something i've written about him/her unnerves me a bit. Though perhaps that would only be true if the comments were negative.

In any case, good stuff. I still maintain, incidentally, that one's blog need not be discovered by a significant other/date if the author really doesn't want them to--I've already posted on this.

gnarled_bonsai said...

Have fun in the seminar, I love Montreal! I don't think I'll be in town for this one, plans to be in Ohio of all places lol.

Good catch with DD!

Crazy Girl City said...

Life is always throwing us unexpected turns. This will be interesting to see how it turns out. Good luck!

Larissa said...

Glad it worked out well for you. Sometimes guys knowing you blog about dating them...well it doesn't always work out. Take what happened to my dear Velvet

Ghettobob said...

You're a speaker on the cliff's list convention?


Maybe i can finally put a face on youre writing then. (not that im going, just seeing the DVD)A dutch friend of mine is speaking also so this will be interesting.

pookalu said...

of course we'll be nice! well, i will be...but that matters none, since he likes you and doesn't have to like us perse.

but it does remind me of an implicit rule i have with my friends re: sexual experiences:

if it's a casual hookup, or something funny happens, then we're all for discussing it. but the minute it turns into a relationship of substance, there's no way in hell i want to hear about the nitty gritty, it's completely up to the divulger!

(well, unless it's extremely notable or funny)...but that's my bag, only!

CoatMan said...

You know that you've found somebody worth keeping if, having read your 'blog, he knows that he wants to be with you for long enough to think that he's wasted his money on a book about how to pick up women.

That was a very sweet and touching post; if your 'blog were a novel, that'd be an excellent ending (although I'm not suggesting for a moment that you should end your 'blog - life, after all, isn't a novel).

After all the random kissing, the agonising, the silent speed-dating, the awkward moments, the people who looked promising but went nowhere, all faithfully, wittily and delightfully recorded on this 'blog, all the time worrying about whether anybody whom you actually know is going to find it, and it turns out that the best prospect of all finds your 'blog and, having read it, wants you even more. And his name is Dave, too. Now, isn't that just the perfect plot?

Stretch said...

Agree with Coatman...very nice post...I think I could hear harps playing in the background as I read it. It is nice to see a "good guy" finish first.

emotional stew said...

Isn’t it great, and frankly a huge relief, that when it’s meant to happen it just does. No “game”, no “rules” are needed.

I wonder what would happen if everyone stopped trying so hard and were just themselves?

I live in hope, but in the mean time I will live vicariously through you.

PS I wasn’t meaning to imply yesterday that Actors don’t have the potential to be as smart as anybody else. More that you’d taken the pledge against dating one and then what do you know.

NotCarrie said...

Hello DD!

And google-so good and so evil;) Glad it worked out all right for you.

sophie n said...

hi drama david!!!

brisvegasbandito said...

its refreshing to see that in this day when everyone seems to be running some kind of 'game' whether consciously or subconsciously for someone to be come up and be so upfront.

No smokescreens, no second guessing, just laying it all on the table...i like this David, he has the proverbial 'balls' to demonstrate how much he is into you whereas most would have masked it. Also props for admitting to have ordered 'the Game', most men wouldn't have had the courage to admit it.

This guys seems to be genuine and sincere. lucky you!

Tonic & Lime said...

Hi Dolly,

Long time, no post. I've been horribly busy with other things (life, new girlfriend, the works).

This reminds me of something I said the night I met my girlfriend. It was an interesting night, especially since I did very little talking (though I'm sure she'd love to contradict that). The interesting part was that I brought her back to my friends, the good old PUAs, and let them do all the talking for me.

Of course, they were giving me a hard time, and at one point, Positive pointed towards her, looked at me, and said, ``Dude, what kind of bitch is this?'' (Jokingly, of course).

I replied, ``My bitch.''

Certainly a very different dynamic and atmosphere around the whole situation, but it does remind me a bit of DD's reply to your question regarding the amount of content he had read. He seems like at least a pretty cool person, at least from what you have written in the last couple of entries. I only have to say that you should take the advice you gave me regarding my own dating situation when I posted on it early on.

I've still only been with my girlfriend for ... oh, almost 2 months now, and it does feel like it's been a while. I still have times in which I think I shouldn't take it too seriously because, lets face it, two months really isn't long at all. (Indeed, after a 4 year relationship, it's fiddlesticks.)

I still have times where I reminisce the collection of events that were my last relationship.

Tonight I really came to the conclusion that it's somewhat pointless. While it's possible to learn much from the past upon the post-analysis thereof, it can be (and quite often is) detrimental to disguise nostalgic feelings, yearning, and living in the past as this. (Really, it's only myself I'm fooling).

So, don't lean too heavily on what you've said and what you've done. I'm sure DD has had enough time to read through every post you've written. You're you, everything you've done until this very moment is a permanent piece of you and will play a part in the decisions you make, your behavior, and what makes you.

But I'm sure I didn't need to tell you that.

I suppose I'm running along tangents here. I'm certainly not the most experienced, and likely one of the least fit people in your life to make any suggestions or give advice as to what you do, but based on what you've said, give it a shot. I don't think you can lose.


snob in the city said...

Sounds fabulous! THAT'S how it's meant to feel...there's shouldnt' be any nervousness or feelings of "oh shit...this is where he leaves me sitting here...alone." I hope it works out!

StrangerInTheseParts said...

I have to say that I think it's hysterical that almost all the commenters have this 'and they lived happily ever after' attitude to these developments.

HELLO! PEOPLE! Dolly and DD (as a couple we could call them Triple D) actually have to, you know, do things together and get to know each other. They have to actually have a relationship. Fairy tale beginnings do not neceassarily mean anything.

Dolly - you've done a great job chornicling, and overcoming, all the ways you sabotage your beginnings. Here's wishing you luck on tackling you're 'middles'.

And may the endings never come...

J said...

Awww poop, now you're gonna censor yourself so DD doesn't get all emotional and stuff.

Rubik said...

Don't bother J. I already went down that road with Dolly and it didn't go so well. Just let her do her thing.

This blog's gonna go however it goes. All we can do is watch. watching a train wreck. slow motion.


jo said...

it's great the drama david is taking it all so well... then again you've only said nice things bout him...

Dolly said...


I asked you before to stop commenting in this blog. You have a lack of manners and disrespectful attitude. I will not engage in any dialog with you and I want you to stay the hell away from me and my blog.

Last warning. After this, I start deleting your comments.

Rubik said...

That's the spirit! There's some fortitude from a New Yorker!

Your violent reactions to me are interesting though...

It would more intriguing if when these circumstances arise, you would challenge me and ask why I would say such a thing. You might find I'm actually just giving a rather benign "ball-busting".

I'm not sure why you view me as such a threat. Do I intimidate you somehow?

Surely a woman giving a lecture at a pickup seminar could handle a mere beginner PUA...

Dolly said...


You are rude and you creep me out, therefore I want to have nothing to do with you. I asked you politely to stay away from my blog; you didn't listen. All comments from you going forward will be deleted. I hope you learn where you are not wanted and, to be perfectly blunt, fuck off.

Constant Dater said...

I once had a date make the connection between me and my dating blog (through my unconnected, non-anonymous) before we met up. He wasn't put off, either. Too bad there wasn't any chemistry or it would have made a better story.

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