Wednesday night I had my first date with Arty Adam. I was looking forward to this one.
Adam contacted my via MySpace a few months ago. I normally don't use MySpace as a dating tool, because I have gotten way too many emails from guys looking to add to their butterfly collections (if I click on a guy's profile and see most of his friends' pics are girls in their underwear, that's an immediate no). However, Adam and I bonded over a particular photographer we both love and discovered several other things in common. We exchanged a few more emails and then I dropped off the radar. A couple of weeks ago, I saw him on an online personals site. He had some new photos up and looked mighty cute. There was also a hint in his profile that he was into BDSM, which is excellent, because I haven't had a good spanking since last summer.
I wrote to him via MySpace, but mentioned I saw him on the OP site. He was happy to hear from me and, after a few emails and IM chats, we made a date to meet.
He lives two subway stops away from me, so I chose a bar a block away from my place (I love having local dates!). I had a meeting run late that day and, despite my proximity, ended up being 15 minutes late, but Adam didn't mind and accepted my profuse apology.
He was attractive in person: tall, dyed-black hair, pierced ears, laid back disposition. I decided within the first half hour that I wanted to kiss him.
One of the things I like most about Adam is that he isn't Normal. You know how there are some people that "get it" and some that don't? People that are distrustful of the mainstream and aren't afraid to go against the grain? Adam is one of those people. We have similar ways of looking at the world and I got this feeling that he would be able to understand things about me that many other men haven't been able to understand. There were even a couple of things he said that kind of struck me at my core (this was a good thing).
That, taken with how friendly, cute, and interesting to talk to he is, makes for a good amount of Boyfriend Potential.
One thing that gave me pause was how passive he seemed. For the first couple of hours at the bar, apart from our hug hello, we had no physical contact. After a couple of drinks, we sat close enough that our arms and knees were touching, but he didn't initiate anything like holding my hand or putting an arm around me. I was starting to wonder if he was interested in me. Then, we were talking about observing people and situations and he said he could infer certain things between the two of us.
"Really? Like what?" I asked.
"Well, I think as we've been talking there's clearly a mutual attraction between us and our body language has changed to reflect that. You could say it's intentional or unintentional."
"What do you think it is?"
"I think it's intentional."
In that moment, I was ready to pounce on Arty Adam. What a great, ballsy thing to say. And I was starting to think he was too passive.
Actually, he is rather passive. I'm also not sure how much he's into S&M based on something he said during our conversation, though there's always bondage. Now I just need to find out if he's a dom or a sub (or, in a best-case scenario, a switch-hitter). I suppose that's not a conversation we have to have on a first date (though I've certainly had it before). Hopefully, he's not completely submissive.
Anyway, we were at the bar for--I'm not kidding here-- seven hours before we kissed. I was tempted to take his hand or do something to initiate, but held steady. He said he's very patient. I was determined to be the same, at least that night. We probably consumed a bottle's worth of wine each and I was pleasantly drowsy and lightly buzzed, though far from drunk. There was a long pause in the conversation, then we both shifted our bodies and it's as if the air around us changed, too. Just when I started to think it wouldn't happen, we looked at each other and that was the moment.
We kissed until they kicked us out of the bar, 4:30am. Slow, sensual, sleepy kisses. He smelled so good, too (I love it when men wear good cologne. I have a list of three now that are my favorite, his being a new addition). He walked me home and we agreed to meet up when he returned from a week-long trip, to play video games (I have a geeky streak, so sue me).
He sent me an email the next day, not twelve hours after our date ended, saying what a great time he had and reiterating wanting to see me. Yay!
I like this one. So much potential. Which means I am not allowed to sleep with him for at least a month--or a few dates. Considering that I'll be going to place for our second date, that may be tough, but I'll do my best.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get ready for my second date with TV Tyler...