Ah yes, Friday night, Lower East Side bar. Logan is looking at me in surprise because I just recognized him as a pick-up artist.
Pretty Polly squealed.
"I want to go wherever you guys are going," I said.
Logan regarded me for a second. "We're in the middle of a seminar."
"Great! I'll be your wing-woman."
"You wanna be our pivot?"
He considered it.
"I have to think of what to tell the other guys."
I rolled my eyes.
"You're a pick-up artist. Tell them you picked me up."
He agreed to let me come along. I had my coat on faster than you could say "average frustrated chump."
Polly told me to send her a text letting her know where we were going to be. Sure thing.
Outside, I smiled and greeted the cluster of guys waiting for Logan. The other guy heading up the seminar was a tall rocker-looking guy in a Guns 'n' Roses t-shirt (henceforth he will be known as GnR). I think GnR may have been the ringleader; he seemed particularly self-possessed. I was introduced to the group and asked them if they had their inner game going.
"Oh yeah!" Colin, a PUA-in-training answered. I didn't believe him.
Here's the thing. It was really obvious which guys were the trainees and which ones were the real thing. Even though they were good-looking to begin with, the PUAs radiated a charisma and swagger that made them that much more attractive. Then you had someone like Colin, who was just as good-looking, but had an insecure vibe about him that made him less compelling.
Logan and I chatted while the group decided on a new bar.
"Did you read The Game?" he asked.
"That, among other things." I mentioned some of my interactions with the PUA community.
"You're only the second girl to ever catch me out."
Logan was very friendly and touchy-feely and we flirted in a casual, natural way, though I knew we wouldn't hook up. It was more like talking shop.
"You're my one-itis." He said in a faux-wistful way.
"Aw, I bet you say that to all the girls." I laughed.
I recalled what that other PUA said about the importance of creating a vibe. That's what Logan, GnR, and the boys were trying to do, and they had a very positive energy about them (though most of it came from the PUAs themselves).
We stopped into one bar. It was pretty dead. GnR looked around and said, "there's nothing here."
Outside, a trio of girls lingered on the corner.
"Who's going to take that set?" Logan asked.
"Somebody should go with him."
"I'll go," said GnR.
The two went over to the girls and got turned down. GnR skipped down the street, not the least bit fazed.
We ended up at a basement bar packed with people. This was more like it.
Polly and the other girls showed up a little while later. Sarah and Logan were introduced and she said something bitchy to him. Uh-oh, I knew what was coming. True to my suspicions, they were dancing and making out the next time I saw them.
I felt so energized, so outgoing. I smiled at anyone remotely interesting-looking. I walked like I owned the place. I walked like there was no way anything could interfere with the great time I was having (because nothing could!).
There was a crowd at the bar, and I stood behind a girl waiting to get served. I turned around and noticed a tall, lean guy behind me, in a plaid shirt. I have a weakness for really tall men, and sometimes an average-looking guy is hotter to me if he's got lots of height. Anyway, Plaid Shirt and I made eye contact, and while he was behind me, he leaned against me and put a hand on my waist. I went with it and tilted my head back to give him a tiny smile.
"I'm talking to this other girl here, and I don't want her to see, but would you let me buy you a drink?"
"Sure. It'll be our secret."
We switched places and he got me a cocktail. Lovely.
I went back to check on the girls, and they seemed to be having a good time (well, Sarah certainly did!). Polly said some creepy guy was talking to her.
"There he is!" She pointed to Plaid Shirt.
I laughed. Polly must have been the girl he was talking about.
In a strange and somewhat unwise move, I ended up dancing with Plaid Shirt and briefly making out with him. He was not a good kisser and he kind of smelled, so I quickly disengaged.
Later on, back at the bar, I saw GnR who was picking up a cute, petite blonde girl. I stood next to her and GnR exchanged conspiratorial smiles over her head. A Smiths song came on and Blonde Girl and I happily sang along,
Sweetness, sweetness I was only joking when I said I'd like to smash every tooth in your head.
We laughed and I said, "I've been on a Smiths kick lately."
"Who doesn't love the The Smiths?" She asked.
"I can't even imagine." I gave them another smile and left, ready to work the room some more.
Something that became clear to me is that when you're switched on, you need to be switched on for everyone, even the people you aren't interested in. This way, the positive flow of energy doesn't get interrupted. Besides, isn't it better to get turned down by a sad smile and a shake of the head instead of a frown and bitchy comment?
I sat on a barstool, surrounded by a group of men I wasn't into, but I talked to them for a few minutes. I wasn't leading them on, I was just being nice. It was time to see who else was around, though. A couple of hipsters straight of of Williamsburg hit on me, but I wasn't interested. One of them was wearing a handkerchief around his neck. Oy. Also, if I'm dancing with my back turned to you the entire time? That's not an invitation to start grinding with me.
Anyway, I ended up talking to a hot black man; let's call him Seal. Seal was a sweetheart, but a bit too insecure for my tastes. He kept saying how he probably wasn't my type and seemed miffed when I left for a moment to say good-bye to GnR.
I told GnR, "Tell Logan to email me. I want to go out with you guys again, you have such a good energy!" He smiled and nodded.
Seal apparently thought what I said to GnR was, "I think you are the tastiest thing since peanut butter and chocolate together and want to bear your tall, spikey-haired children!"
Even so, Seal and I had a good time talking about movies and we ended up making out on a couch until 4:00am. He wanted me to go home with him, but I wanted to go home solo. I did give him my email address ("I hate the phone") but he didn't believe that I'd want to see him again. There's just no pleasing some guys.
The house lights came on and I waited while Seal got his coat. While I stood there, I spotted a cute guy by the entrance (I was a bit tipsy at this point, so I barely remember what he looked like other than he was a cutie). I smiled at him and he smiled back and nodded.
Outside, Seal went to hail me a taxi and I waited about ten feet away. Cutie approached me and we surreptitiously murmured something to each other. I fumbled in my purse and said, "I'm trying to give you my card." He said yes, he'd like my card, and I slipped it to him just as Seal caught me a taxi.
During the ride home, my head was swimming with everything that happened that night. To sum up:
Number of guys kissed: 6
Number of numbers/emails given out: 3 (though one was to Logan, so it doesn't really count)
Number of guys who propositioned me: 2
It was quite an evening.
Logan emailed me the next day and promised we'd go sarging again. We better!
This morning, there was a voice mail waiting for me when I got to work. Saturday, 4:15am. It was from Cutie. He said he had wanted to talk to me. He left me his number.