I am somewhat fascinated by the (and I hyperbolize when I use this term) phenomena that is Christian Carter. For those unfamiliar, Christian Carter is the equivalent of a PUA guru for women, except that he focuses on what he assumes most women want: catching him and keeping him. The ebook and newsletters have a relationship bent and are very soft-focus and empathetic in their approach to coaxing a woman to behave in a way that will get her a man of her own to love.
I read the ebook when I was single and still skim the newsletters from time to time today-- the key word here is "skim" because Carter has a frustrating way of taking 1,000 words to say something that can be said in two sentences. I have found a few useful nuggets of wisdom, but most of it can be boiled down to:
* Don't sleep with him too soon!
* Be self aware!
And, everybody's perennial favorite:
Now what distinguishes Carter and the self-helpers, who coach you on if he's not into you or you're not into him, is that there are rumors that Christian Carter is an alter ego for David DeAngelo, creator of Double Your Dating and one of the biggest pickup gurus out there. In fact, Catch Him Inc., Carter's company name, is allegedly owned by Double Your Dating.
I know there was a big discussion over on Thundercat's blog a year or two ago about the ethics of having possibly the same man preach conflicting advice to men and women. I mean, a man's goal is to get the woman in bed as quickly as possible and the woman's goal is to resist his advances as long as possible, in order to develop an intimacy and emotional connection.
One one hand, if someone is a relationship expert, there's no reason why they shouldn't be able to advise males and females, right? I don't see a problem with that. Yet when the advice to males is to get over her "anti-slut defenses" as quickly as possible, whereas a woman is advised to wait at least a month if she wants to develop a relationship, that seems a bit contradictory, doesn't it?
Of course, whether or not David DeAngelo and Christian Carter are the same person or even under the same umbrella company is speculation, even though...
They have IDENTICAL long-winded writing styles.
Full of SHORT paragraphs.
That go ON and ON. And take forever.
To actually get to the POINT.
As frustrated as I get with Carter's way of communicating, there is some useful advice to be found about being poised and secure and living in the reality of a situation instead of the unrealized ideal. However, I have read newsletters that take some digs at pickup artists and preach some of the same exact advice that PUAs in training get: don't buy gifts, don't be too nice, create lively banter and a fun, challenging atmosphere. Boy, with everyone being told not to be too nice, I sure hope all the single people out there don't follow the advice too closely and become assholes!
Personally, my best advice is if you're going to read the ebooks and newsletters, read the ones aimed at both men and women, to get a rounded view, so that you know what the opposite sex is being told to do as well. Take everything with a grain of salt then get out of the house and stop focusing on your single status. These newsletters are so focused on talking to people and building rapport and flirting, but none of them focus nearly enough on what might be the most important thing of all: HAVING A LIFE. You know, getting out of the house and developing skills and interests that aren't necessarily centered around getting laid or finding a relationship.
I realize a lot of people out there need guidance when it comes to dating and courtship. But nothing is better than disregarding all the advice (including mine, if you absolutely must) and following your own path. Even if it means being nice.
Just don't forget to be confident!