I consider myself to be a pretty open minded and experimental person. Which makes it all the stranger that I went most of my life without owning a vibrator. I have certainly been adventurous and creative in my pursuit of pleasure, but feared that my compulsive personality would make me grow a little to attached to a battery-operated companion.
Then I decided to shake off my hesitation and see what all the fuss is about. Earlier this week, I got a Rabbit in the mail. It has gotten so much good buzz over the years (pardon the pun--or don't, but there are going to be plenty of them in this post so get comfortable), so I figured that would be a good one to start with.
Once I knew it was en route, I got excited (no, not that kind of excited... though the heat and all the working out I've been doing lately has certainly bolstered my libido). Would it be the most mind-blowing orgasm ever? Would I get so addicted that BF David would have to woo me back to the real thing? And what about the experience itself? Should I take myself out to a nice dinner, light some candles and play sexy music, tell myself how beautiful I look... or should I just watch some porn (I'll let you decide which seduction technique I opted for).
A few days later, I got my box of treats in the mail. Hooray! I couldn't wait to go home and give that Rabbit a whirl. BF David is in rehearsals for a play he's in this fall, so his schedule is a bit hectic during the week. And you know what they say, when the cat's away, the mice will play with their new sex toys. Or something like that. Except that I had to spend a few hours with my parents after work, which was nice, but I this vibrator was burning a hole in my totebag. I waited all these years to try one out, so every moment leading up to it felt ages away.
Finally, back at my apartment, I tore into the box and pulled out my new pretty pink friend. It was a bit smaller than I expected, which was fine-- in fact great, because it was a good size for a beginner and the thing was already not measuring up to my boyfriend, which meant there was no way I could get overly attached to it. For some reason, I got it into my head that the vibrator would run on AA batteries, which was awesome because I have rechargable ones. Of course, I didn't actually check until I received the package and noticed it took C batteries. Damn!
I rushed around the corner to the nearest bodega and asked for two packs of C's.
The shopkeeper turned around at a glacial pace and pointed up. "D's?" he asked.
Grr! Didn't he realize the urgency of the situation?
"C's," I reiterated, trying to keep my facial expression more I-really-need-these-for-a-flashlight than I-need-these-for-my-brand-spanking-new-orgasm-inducer.
I paid for my batteries, smiling at the Energizer bunny on the packaging. We'll see if they kept going and going.
"Did you hear there might be a blackout tomorrow?"
Yeah, well, if there was a blackout, I'd still be able to come in the dark.
Back at the lab, I got everything ready and familiarized myself with the switches. There was one for the whirling pearls at the base and there was another for the bunny-shaped clit-stimulator. I promised myself I wouldn't go too high on either setting, because I heard about how using a vibrator too much can desensitize a woman. A cautious plan and one that went right out the window when I was in the thick of it. Within a few minutes of the initial buzzing, I was satiated. Though a little later I tested it out again, just to, you know, make sure it worked properly and everything (it does).
Impressions? I had nothing to worry about. The real thing is always going to be better, not only because there's a person attached to it, but because the sensation of genuine, warm skin can not be replicated. I mean, I've got to have kissing in the mix. Also, while the vibrator buzzes at astounding speeds and is almost guaranteed to get you off, there's something about the experience that feels synthetic and mechanical (gee, I wonder why). At the same time, whether in a relationship or not, the real thing isn't always available, and even if it is, this toy is a great supplement. Plus, you can roll over and fall right asleep afterwards without hurting its feelings.