Monday, October 30, 2006

In Hand

Earlier this month, the New York Times did a piece about holding hands...

"We found that holding the hand of really anyone, it made your brain work a little less hard in coping," Dr. Coan said, adding that any sort of hand-holding relaxes the body.

On Saturday, toward the end of the second costume party Roommate Rachel and I attended, I met a man dressed as an ancient Roman. I was well and tipsy at this point. We sat together on a couch, next to my roommate and the boy flirting with her.

"I'm psychic," Roman said.

"Me too, especially when I drink," I replied.

"You're going to be married within 18 months...but not to me," he prophesized.

"You hate your job, but have an opportunity through a friend that will pan out in the six months. You're scared to take the risk, but you should go for it," I replied.

He nodded.

"You're going to have two kids, a girl and a boy."

"Wrong, they're both going to be boys," I corrected him. "I don't see any girls in my future."

He told me he's bisexual and Leo. I rolled my eyes.

"Not another Leo."

"We're not a good match for each other," he said.


He held my hand anyway. It felt so good, like something being released, a little bit of darkness dissipating.

"It's a lonely time right now."

"It is, very. But a little less so, at least for now," I said.

He kissed me. It wasn't a good kiss. Awkward. The handholding was better.

I stood up. "I need a cigarette."

"I wish I had a joint."

"I'm going downstairs for a cigarette." I got my coat, said my goodbyes to the hosts.

He followed me outside. As we reached the bottom steps, he said,

"I thought it was going to be men for a while."

"Then you should go be with men."

It was cold outside, and he couldn't stand the wind in his thin toga. I waited for Roommate Rachel to come down, and we hurried home in the frosty air.

The kissing didn't faze me, but the holding hands was a glimpse and reminder of what it's like not to be alone. It was intense, too much so. I don't think I'll be ready for a while.


Anonymous said...

Hi Dolly,

Love your blog, I just started reading it. It's interesting to see your perspective on the female dating scene. Definitely good stuff.

Regarding the holding hands thing. It is definitely an underated form of kino. I find I can create attraction pretty quickly just by holding a girls hand and it feels good too. Good stuff.


pawlr said...

Yeah, the brain loves it, as long as its low-stakes and the hand-holdee can withdraw at any time. Push-pull with hands can be very effective.

Its fun to flirt. Low-stakes may be just what you need to dip your toe back in the water...

Anonymous said...


Have you heard of this, the "Urban Cougar" ?

Sounds like women are sargin' too.

~Double A

Sex & Moxie said...

There's something comforting in human, skin on skin contact. The warmth, I think. Keep reminding yourself what that felt like. You'll be having it before you know it.

Sex & Moxie

NotCarrie said...

*sigh* It's been so long for me. How can it be so tough to find someone to simply hold hands with?

Anonymous said...

So, you finally met someone lonelier than you. Despite sounding like a Roy Orbison lyric, it's a step forward. Plus you wrote beautifully about it.

Sometimes things get better at the pace of plate tectonics.