It's unnerving how quickly time goes by. I couldn't believe it when I realized that I have been dating both Arty Adam and TV Tyler for about a month now (the former a little under; the latter a little over). Together, they just about make the perfect man. Separately, there are things about both that give me pause. It's easier seeing these differences after another weekend in which I saw them consecutively.
Friday night, Arty Adam met me at my apartment so that we could head over to the sushi restaurant together. Except that he got to my place while I was still on the subway. I got a text from my roommate letting me know and started to mildly panic. I could just imagine him, sitting in the living room, looking for a way to pass the time and noticing the stack of Village Voices in the corner...
I apologized profusely for being late, quickly changed and freshened up my make-up, and we finally set off. Man, was I ready for some sake. Arty Adam was more than understanding about my tardiness. He's so mellow and relaxed about everything, I imagine it takes a lot to get him angry.
I was a little concerned the conversation might be a bit stilted, because the very thing that was most pressing in my life at the moment was the one thing I couldn't talk about. Luckily, we found plenty of other topics to discuss. In fact, all through dinner we kept up a consistant chatter. We never get on any deeply personal subjects, which can be nice, but we also end up having conversations that are friendly but not intense or passionate (if I were an English teacher, this is where I'd point out the foreshadowing).
We went back to his place for video games and more sake. We played for at least three hours straight. Three hours. Of video games and sake. Nothing but drinking and playing the game. Am I the only one who sees the problem with this?
If it was TV Tyler and me playing the game, we would have been lucky to have a half hour of uninterrupted game time before fiercely making out. Arty Adam and I had no physical contact all night, apart from our hug hello. He didn't put his arm around me or take my hand or try to kiss me. In general, he doesn't seem like much of a touchy-feely person. Maybe this is due to his shyness, but surely you can forego that with a woman you've already slept with!
Anyway, the only reason why we stopped playing is because my eyelids were getting heavy. He said I was more than welcome to spend the night and I took him up on the offer. We got ready for bed and he asked if I wanted any music. Thank goodness, because last time I kept waking up because of it. I said no thank you, I can't sleep well with music.
It was silent, it was dark, and we started kissing.
I might go to hell for this, but I couldn't help it. I started thinking of TV Tyler and how my whole body responds when he kisses me. It's nice, but not the same with Arty Adam.
He undressed me, got me off, I took a moment to rest, then I went down on him. I was hoping we'd have proper sex, but he came and then we fell asleep.
This is the thing about Arty Adam I have the most trouble with: he doesn't cuddle. I don't need a guy who's going to be wrapped around me all night, but a little spooning, a little body-on-body contact throughout the night is great (especially since it sometimes leads to more sex). This guy did not touch me at all. I could have tried to instigate a cuddle, but it didn't feel natural, so we slept on opposite sides of the bed.
I was hoping for morning sex when we woke up, but again, he gave no signals that he was up for it (pardon the pun, or don't). Yes, I probably wasn't giving out many signals, either, but come on, if you have a naked woman in your bed who gave you a blow job the previous night, would you really be questioning if she'll have sex with you? Also, it was frustrating me just how passive his behavior was (even though he claimed to be dominant!), so I wanted to see if he'd make a move, the way he did last time. I waited. And waited. Finally, at around 11:00am, I said I needed to start my day and got dressed. Alas, no handcuffs and no intercourse. What's a girl to do?
Plan that evening's date with TV Tyler, that's what. He and I were going to meet at local bar at 10:00pm. This gave me time to have dinner with my new friend Sophie and grab a quick drink with Mango and another PickUp101 instructor before meeting him. Later that night, TV Tyler called and asked if we could meet an hour later. Not a problem with me.
I'm actually glad we had the extra hour, because Sophie and I had the best time chatting with these guys. Mango and his business partner were so friendly, upbeat, and laid back. Any woman who would meet them would get a positive impression of the PUA community. They are great flirts and conversationalists and kept us smiling and laughing the whole time we were with them. Afterwards, Sophie (who had never met a pick-up artist before) and I felt energized and came away from the encounter with such a positive feeling. I wish I could have stayed out later with these guys and seen their students in action. I was also invited to an NYC lair meeting the next day and would have loved to attend, but had to pass because of a previous obligation. Next time, definitely.
The bar TV Tyler chose was a small Italian-themed place, with candlelight, festive-but-chilled-out music, and the kind of atmosphere where you can exhale and feel your stress disappate. Perfect. I got there first, ordered some prosecco, which tasted like heaven in a glass, and waited at a small table by the front windows.
TV Tyler was fifteen minutes late, but swept me up in such a passionate hug and kiss, time no longer mattered. He ordered some Italian liquor for us and we chatted. He had been drinking and I was tipsy, too, which made for some amusing moments as we took turns accidentally tipping our table (nothing spilled or broken). He was in a feisty mood and, much in the same way Polly's last date was injected with a certain chemistry by negging, a similar dynamic happened last night. TV Tyler had moments where he'd play the pseudo-bastard, I'd get pouty, he'd go back to being nice, and we'd resume our usual banter, but it would be revved up a notch. TV Tyler wasn't running any game on me, he's just extremely deadpan and his sarcasm comes out in infuriating-but-loveable ways. The thing is, I was negging him back, and he would pretend to get fed up with me and threaten me with a spanking (which he knows I'm a fan of). In fact, during the walk back to my place, he took his glove off a couple of times to give me a whack on the ass when I gave him lip. Rowr.
Back in my room, we started kissing and before the clothes came flying off, I went to take out my contacts and get some water. When I returned, TV Tyler was naked in bed. Mmm, hot naked man in my bed. Christmas came early and so did I. Actually, that's not true, it took me a while because I was buzzed. He wasn't able to at all because of his alcohol intake, but that's okay, because I knew he would later on, and probably more than once (I was right). I fell asleep in his arms.
Hang on, I want to say that again. I fell asleep in his arms. In fact, there wasn't a single moment while we slept when his arms weren't around me. I couldn't begin to find words to describe how good it felt. And that's just the spooning and cuddling. The sex is a whole other story. We woke up in the middle of the night and went at it, and then again in the morning.
There's this James song called, appropriately, "Laid" which has a line that goes,
She only comes when she's on top.
Well, I can come other ways, but when I'm with TV Tyler and on top, it's impossible for me not to come. The perfect way his body fits with mine in that position creates a veritable orgasm factory. Sometimes, I can't even keep track of when one is ending and the other is beginning. And just when I think it can't get any better, this morning he gave me one of the biggest orgasms of my life.
So yeah, the sex is pretty mind-blowing. In all honesty, though, I don't know that this will ever evolve into a real relationship. He still doesn't show much of a curiosity in my life, which bothers me. Also, his daughter, who he misses terribly, is always going to be his number one priority. Which is sweet and sad and something I understand, though I'm not sure if it's something I can deal with in the long term. I think we have some core incompatibilities, and even though our relationship is mostly physical at this point, once in a while I sense a glimmer of feeling that I've developed for him. I need to be careful.
It feels like I'm at a sort of crossroads, even though there's no need for me to be. I can let things continue to evolve with Arty Adam and TV Tyler. Deep down, my instincts tell me that the former and I are better off as friends, and any relationship the latter and I could have would be volatile. Neither of them (after a month!) have made any boyfriend noises, so I guess I'll just keep coasting.
As for that surprise, it came in the form of an email from the Editor-in-Chief of the Village Voice, Doug Simmons. He gave me his cell phone number and and urged me to call him. Whatever could he possibly want to talk about? Do you think maybe he wants to ask me out? Or set me up with Nick Sylvester?