...But tell me how you really feel...
First of all, I want to extend my enormous gratitude to everyone who has offered their support these last couple of days. From those who defended me on the blog, to those who sent compassionate emails (O, yours was so sweet, it made me cry), to one dear friend who actually called and sang me a song on my voicemail to cheer me up. You all rock.
Having given it some thought, I think the depression was brought on by exhaustion, hormones, and work stress (and maybe even the Village Voice thing) more than dating. Yes, I think moving away from having as many casual physical encounters is a good idea, but I wasn't sad because I felt cheap after hooking up with so many guys. Are you kidding, I loved every second of it! I do not nor will not regret it. The melancholy was triggered by stress from many different sides.
This blog is not about my work life or about the noble causes I support. Those who need to broadcast how they're making the world a better place are more self-absorbed than they will ever realize. True charity is done and then not spoken about.
I started this blog to chart my progress in terms of sex, dating, love, and relationships. I am comfortable with my body, comfortable with my sexuality, and make no apologies for my actions. If anybody reading this disapproves or dislikes what I have to say, don't read it. I'd rather not see such nauseating self-righteousness on here again, but I'm actually surprised these comments didn't come sooner. However, it would help if people actually read what I wrote before unleashing judgment. I don't go to bars in hopes of meeting my soul mate. I go to socialize and frequently end up having casual hook-ups with guys I meet there, which I don't expect to go further. Yes, I may rush the sex with men I date on occasion, but I'm working on that. At the same time, I am enjoying exploring what is out there with passionate curiosity instead of being on a desperate husband-hunt or a hermit spending Friday and Saturday nights on the couch at home, waiting for The One to magically appear. That's just not my style.
With regard to the PUA culture, I can only speak from my experiences. I have gained so much confidence and become so much more at ease with who I am and the people around me since getting involved. Many people will choose to perceive it as nothing more than a quest for bedpost notches; I view it from an angle of self-improvement and development of personal charisma. The rest of you can believe whatever you want.
As for the haters who came out in full force to spew their bile while I was feeling fragile, it's tempting to reflect the same anger you showed me, but I don't actually feel it. In this case, I think a song lyric would be more appropriate:
You know I'm not gonna diss you on the Internet
Cause my momma taught me better than that.
I swear, that is the only time you will ever see me me quoting Destiny's Child. Cross my heart.
Now... can we try to get along? If I have to keep wading through all these bickering comments, I may decide not tell you about tonight's lovely outing with Hot Brother...