Monday, May 22, 2006

time flies when you have a naked man in your bed

I have noticed an irony with this blog. I used to write about sex, a lot, even when I wasn't having any. Lately, I have been too busy having it to write much about it. Time to do something about that.

When I decided to mend my floozy ways a couple of months ago, I promised myself that I wouldn't rush into bed with a guy I really liked and that I when the sex stuff did go down, it would be in the context of a relationship. Lofty goals from somebody who, earlier in the year, was known to indulge in a slutty weekend or two.

When BF David and I started seeing each other, things quickly moved in the direction of a relationship, but I was determined not to potentially sabotage things by introducing sex too soon. All four dates we had before I left for Europe were sweet, romantic, and held in places where nudity was not (easily) possible.

David, as it turns out, also has a history of rushing the sex. This whole taking-time-to-really-get-to-know-a-person-before-getting-it-on thing was something neither of us had done in a long time. Being starved for some good old fashioned courtship, I enjoyed every second of the clothed time I spent with him.

Of course, there's only so long that two attractive people with raging hormones and budding feelings for each other can maintain such puritan behavior. Sooner or later the gloves (and pants) have to come off.

I prepared myself for the worst. I knew the first few times would most likely be full of fumbling, awkward moments. I knew it might take him a little while to get comfortable with bondage, spanking, etc. I also knew there was a chance (though I hoped above hope fate wouldn't be so cruel) that he wouldn't be all that well-endowed. I reasoned with myself that BF David was an amazing man and that if a small penis was "the catch" I wouldn't let that be a dealbreaker. I wouldn't let something like that get in the way when I was falling in love with him.

Anyway, I stayed true to my earlier promise to myself and exclusivity was established before BF David and I got naked. And hell, let's face it, I did breathe a sigh of relief when I saw there was no "catch", that if anything, I had a pretty impressive catch (if you know what I mean, and I think you do). Sure, there was some fumbling and awkwardness, but the strong chemistry we felt during the initial kisses and conversations prevailed.

The only thing better than orgasms is getting them from somebody you care about. There are times with BF David when thinking about my feelings for him is what pushes me over into Orgasm City (population: me!). It's been said countless times that sex is better with someone you care about, but I'd like to reiterate that point.

As for the feeling and caring, it may have been apparent that up to now a certain word has been absent from my posts about BF David (though several astute commenters have used it). He and I did a marvelous job of skirting the L-word. We were "crazy about" (or "nuts about") each other, we were "falling for" and "smitten with" each other, we even "thought the world of" each other.

I was waiting to say The Words to BF David because I wanted to make sure they wouldn't put an unnecessary pressure on the relationship too soon, but more so because I knew they would come out naturally. If it took a couple more weeks, or even months, for that right moment to come, I was okay with that.

Yesterday afternoon, while laying in bed recovering from sweaty fun, we were chattering away about various sexy topics and out of nowhere (but not really) he said it.

"I love you."

I was so surprised and so touched and absolutely flooded with all this emotion and I murmured, "I love you, too" and couldn't remember the last time I meant it so much.

After that exchange, things felt simultaneously lighter and more intense; I felt relief and elation that The Words had been said, and also more bonded to BF David.

I'm thrilled that this is a love thing and that we can be share that so openly with each other. And that's is actually reciprocated! It's a damn miracle, I'm telling you.

So yeah, I've been too busy hiding out in a big sex 'n' love cocoon to update the blog often, but I am going to make an effort to rectify that. An announcement of sorts is forthcoming, having to do with my return to the pick-up community. Just when I thought they couldn't, things are about to get even more interesting...


Vespertine said...

*bangs head against the wall*

Arrrggghhhhh!!! Would you please have BFD inform my LP that these words are not a freakin' crisis to say???

Anyway, congrats--- this is great news!

Dolly said...

I actually thought of you in the couple of weeks leading up to it, and wondered if the unspoken words would make me anxious. I forced myself to respect the pacing and not obsess about the When. Even so, I really hope LP says it soon!

Jack Roy said...

Sorry, Vespertine, but as all American men know by the time they turn 14, if you actually say those words and it's not followed by the name of a sports star, it means you're gay.

And, um, sweet (or something) post, Dolly. Best.

Miss Scarlet said...

" time flies when you have a naked man in your bed"

I need to say that more often.

Dolly said...

I guess wonders never cease.

If you build it, he will come!

Anonymous said...

I can attest to Dolly's new favorite passtime as she ditched the NYC Blooger's after the dinner was over and opted for nookie instead of drinks...wha???

Just joking Dolly! I'd do the same!

And congrats on the "L" word! And how sweet that he said it first!!!

Homosexual Suspect said...

I can back Betty up--

Good irony you pointed out though, Dolly. The more sex you have, the less you write about it.

Congrats! Hope to see you out later!

Larissa said...

nothing else to say but good for you!

Dolly said...

Betty and HS,
Next time I'll stay out longer, I promise!

As always, thank you for your cheering. I hope you visit NYC again soon!

CoatMan said...

Some classic Dolly quotes in that one; keep the writing coming!

And don't forget to post your wedding photographs on here; we've seen the whole long buildup, we should, as in every good Jane Austin novel, also see the white-dressed denument.

Dynamic said...

Talk about one-itis! Dolly, I'm all for young love, but middle-aged, and geezer-love is what scares me.

Let me ask you this, do you recall how you get over a one-itis? I can't wait for those entries!

Glad your current situation is bringing you happiness.

See you soon,

Ghettobob said...

Eewh... the L-word.

It's all so romantic, i just gave myself a hugg.


have fun.. GB

Dolly said...

Come on, you should know me well enough to realize that there's no way I'll wear a white dress. Red, all the way!

Thanks for giving me the idea for my next post!

Now what's so terrible about the L-word?

D said...

Sorry Doll, just catching up on your past posts as I've been away. I love the way you write about your relationship... it makes me push away the bitter train for just a second and remember how good it can be. I like not feeling hopeless - thanks.

Ankur said...

sounds good :) have fun