Tuesday, February 21, 2006

My Slutty Weekend - Part II (TV Tyler)

Back to recapping the weekend.

Sunday early afternoon (in the middle of a three day weekend), on my way home from spending the night at Arty Adam's. Tired, but no hangover, even though we finished off a bottle of rum the previous night. I slept poorly, partly because I was in a new person's bed, partly because Adam plays music to go to sleep and I was too polite to ask him to turn it off (even at low volume, I have trouble sleeping with music in the background), and partly because his apartment was overheated. Nevertheless, I was in a great mood.

It was a sunny, crisp day out, and I'm sure I had a spring in my step.

I got my morning coffee and called Tyler while walking home. We chatted for a few minutes, commiserating over each other's hellish work weeks and mentioned about how happy we were to have three full days to relax. Since we were both craving low key activities, I asked if he wanted to come over again to watch movies. He did. 4:00pm? Perfect. Gave me a few hours to shower, change, tidy up the apartment, have lunch, and otherwise ready myself to see TV Tyler.

This time I did wear the fancy lacy underwear.

When he came over a little later, it was all I could do not to pounce on him right away. I waited until he took off his jacket.

We kissed hello and I swear, I am still mystified at our chemistry. This guy actually makes me weak in the knees when I kiss him.

It took us ages to decide on a movie to watch, not because of indecisiveness, but because we kept getting... distracted. Then it took us a while to actually watch the film, because we kept pausing it. The movie was foreign and became extremely gory toward the end, which left us both disturbed. When the credits rolled and we started making out again, he stopped for a second and said,

"I don't think I can kiss you right now."

"Oh really." I kept my arms around him and brought my face in. He quickly changed his mind.

We were both still shaken up by the horrifying images from the movie, but I think the released adrenaline and intense emotion worked in our favor.

Basically, we went into my room at a little after 7:00pm and did not emerge again until nearly midnight (for a quick snack, before heading back to the bedroom).

I am trying to find words to describe how amazing the sex was, but I can't because every time I start to think about it, I become unable to type. I have barely been able to think about anything else since.

For one thing, we both beat personal records of number of sessions in a 24-hour period. We couldn't believe that were able to go at it six times without imparting any serious physical damage. I can safely say it was some of the best sex of my life. No whips or chains, no bells and whistles, it was all pretty straightforward and pretty phenomenal.

I don't know about the rest of you, but when I have sex with someone, it can be tough for me to make eye contact. Even with a boyfriend, looking at the guy in medias res can be quite intense and overwhelming and isn't something I am often able to do. I felt so comfortable with TV Tyler that there were several moments where we made and maintained eye contact (and even smiled at each other).

I'm not trying to make this into something it isn't. There has been no talk of a relationship or our feelings for each other. Right now, it's good company and great sex.

However, I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm starting to care about him. Maybe it's the oxytocin talking, but I can't help it. I realize how dangerous that is, knowing that he is lacking direction in his life and has this enormous responsibility of a child living thousands of miles away. He has been through so much with the break-up of his marriage and all these other life circumstances I won't go into, and it breaks my heart a little knowing how much pain he has endured. At the same time, when he talks about it, he isn't self-pitying or looking for sympathy, he merely states these experiences as fact.

On our second date, after making a cutting remark, he said, "I'm a bastard... or maybe I just use that as a way to cover up the fact that I'm really a nice guy underneath it all."

He's sarcastic and deadpan and jokes about having no feelings, but I think that's because he has had to put up a wall after everything he's been through.

The thing is, I know that when we spend time together, we're happy. Yes, right now it's more physical than anything else. We are slowly starting to open up to each other, but we're both still emotionally guarded. There is a lot about the darker parts of myself I still haven't shared with him. I'm not ready, because I don't know what's going on in his head and am unsure of his level of compassion.

Who knows, maybe TV Tyler won't allow himself to feel anything for me at all. I have to be prepared for the fact that at any moment, he might tell me that this is as far as it will ever go, that he can't handle anything more serious.

Or maybe, like me, he realizes that whatever this is, when he and I get together, the rest of the world falls away. Maybe, like me, despite overwhelming reservations, he's starting to wonder if this could be something.

21 comments:

Sarah said...

Woohoo! I was waiting for part II, and it didn't disappoint. ;)

Anonymous said...

Wow- you said it! I hope you carry your trusty, super-strength condoms with you at all times!
It sounds like you like Tyler more than Adam, am I right? Good luck with him, but do beware of a man with baggage. I'm not trying to discourage you by any means- it's just that it may make things abit more complicated. Good luck!

Dolly said...

Sarah,
From what I hear, I'm not the only one having fun!

Anonymous,
I actually need to get some new (and better) condoms, thanks for reminding me! I think the natural chemistry is stronger with Tyler, but I have also been on twice as many dates with him. Adam has so much going for him, too, and I get the feeling he'd be able to handle me at my more emotional. I'm trying to stay very aware of any issues either might have, Tyler especially. I'm also terrified at the idea of either one of them finding this blog.

Anonymous said...

You are possibly the most gifted writer on the web.

Good Luck with Tv Tyler, or Arty Adam, or both....and what happened to Cd Dave?

One last question: do the boys in your life know about your blog?

-Tiff

Dolly said...

Sarah,
Oops, I thought you were my other friend with the same name! Sorry for any confusion.

Tiff,
Flattery will get you everywhere. Thanks for the sweet words.

Computer Dave did the fade. He never replied to my last email and never got in touch after getting over being sick.

None of my guys know about the blog and the idea of them discovering it is something I worry about. The more people read it, the greater the chances of that happening. Hopefully, I'll be able to avoid disaster indefinitely.

Anonymous said...

Dolly, if he's a normal, well-adjusted guy, then he'll definitely be "feeling" it too.

If it turns out he's not, then you need to be very, very wary.

The good thing is that it sounds like you're not letting the euphoria blind you to his possible shadow.

To me, he just sounds a little reserved with his true feelings - probably a case of once-bitten-twice-shy. And hey, he is a man after all. Conveying deep emotion and exposing our souls seems to require more estrogen than we were served up with IMHO ;-)

Anonymous said...

This fascinates me. So what makes great sex for a woman?

Dolly, so far you've mentioned:

- Good kissing (with gentle face touching and hair stroking)

- Stamina and repetition

- Size (eh-hem)

- Eye contact (more a by-product than a requirement)

But what sets the good apart from the bad?

Sarah said...

Ha ha... yeah, I was like, "Hey, wait! What has she heard??"

I was going to ask you about the possibility of dates finding this blog. YIKES! That could be bad.

Dolly said...

Anonymous 1,
Your comment was reassuring. My gut tells me this isn't just about sex. On our second date, he said "I'm happy being with you here." It wasn't a line, it was a sincere moment.

Anonymous 2,
You forgot to list spanking.
Seriously, though, what separates the good from the bad is asking what a woman wants in bed and then giving it to her. And, as someone else who commented recently said, making sure she comes before you do. It takes patience, practice, etc. but always ask what she likes!

Sarah,
I felt so bad after I wrote that, especially once I read about how you haven't been the happiest camper.

Anonymous said...

Spanking! Of course, how could I have missed that?

Ok Handcuff-Dolly, where do you (and other lurkers out there) stand on dirty talk?

I've found most women love it under two conditions: (1) If it's introduced gradually (2) If lots of sweet talk is mixed in with it.

Any other suggestions for us testosterone-burdened humans?

Still, it's not everyone's cup of tea.

FlipSeduction said...

I only have one thing to say: SIX TIMES?!?

Dolly said...

Anonymous,
Ah, yes, dirty talk can be so hot. I'm a bit shy with it, but it certainly has its place when a certain level of comfort has been established (it's also probably best to ask beforehand). I really wanted to talk dirty to TV Tyler over the weekend, but wasn't sure how he'd react so I held back (next time, next time...). As for other things, teasing can be fun (tickling, light biting, kissing her passionately then pulling away a little and making her reach for you, etc.).

Flipseduction,
Yes, six times during the course of about fifteen hours. A new personal best.

Anonymous said...

Irreversible. wansn't it?

Dolly said...

No no, I would never be dumb enough to watch that film on a date! *shudder*

Mr. Right said...

I think you're an excellent writer.

pawlr said...

Fascinating to hear a woman's perspective on PU. After reading "The Game" recently I worried about what my women friends would think, but after I explained the concepts behind it I basically only got "that actually doesn't sound too bad," and "I'd actually like it to be treated that way". I guess I really didn't have much to worry about after all.

The ideal for me, (and I am just a rAFC at this point) is really to leave the female feeling better after each encounter. Buzzed by the energy.

Had some good times last night downtown opening sets, some good beginning stories to share - I'll post 'em if there's interest.

Dolly said...

Mr. Right,
Thank you!

Pawlr,
It sounds like you have the right attitude about learning attraction. I love hearing PUAs (and aspiring PUAs) say that their goal is to "leave her better than you found her". Plus, seduction is something that people have been trying to master for ages, why should there be a backlash against people who find what works for them and do it well?

pawlr said...

Thanks for the support, Dolly. Had another positive night tonight at a salsa club on Ave. A and 14th. 8 musicians packed into the corner, blasting and the bandleader was great. I did a cold approach on the 3 most beautiful women in the bar. They were dressed in red, feisty and clearly there to break balls. I walked up, paused and made eye contact with one of them, said "Hi" and sat down next to her, maybe too invasively because I instantly got this from the alpha female across the table: "We're talking about our periods, so you probably won't be interested - am I right?" really challenging, and I just tried to absorb it for a second and keep my composure. "That's ok, that makes sense since you're dressed in red" (why? what was I thinking? but this was the first thing that popped into my head). Anyway this prompted a wierd infintesimal pause and then some more flak from alpha, and then "I don't know, you're jacket looks so feminine" which is, of course, my one garment I like the most and with laser intuition she nailed me. I hung in there: "Yeah I have a feminine side, I'm comfortable with it. Aren't you?" Then, miracle of miracles, she SMILED. Then they all smiled. They then went into a long discourse about those new vibrating condoms, wanting to know if I thought they were pleasurable for males as much as females. Followed by several graphic descriptions of their recent sex lives, a bit much a bit early but hey, it was their table. I spent some time with the one I initially made eye contact with, she seemed like the "nice" one and actually very sweet. Then I bailed with "I gotta rejoin my friends now, have a fun night" and exited with dignity.

Just a wierd interaction I wanted to share. Something I never would have tried in my life before getting some game. Analysis welcome :)

Dolly said...

Pawlr,
I know Mystery advises against this kind of thing, but I think you should have kept the set going by trying to dance with them. It was a salsa club and the girls were dressed in red. Sounds like they might have been up for dancing and it would have given you a chance to get physically closer to them. Unless you're a terrible dancer, in which case it's best you learn some magic tricks or something. ;)

pawlr said...

Ha! Yeah I considered it - I would have had to dance very minimally since my salsa moves are really basic, but I'm not terrible at faking the "old man" salsa style where he stands in one place and feels the rhythym, guiding the female as she dances around him. Thanks for the tip.

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