Thursday, February 23, 2006

they come and they go

No word from TV Tyler since we parted on Monday. I'm actually not the least bit anxious about it. Things have been hectic at work for me and I imagine it's the same (and worse) for him. No big deal. I feel pretty secure for a couple of reasons. First of all, we had such mind-blowing sex that he would have to be a fool not to want a repeat performance. Second of all, we've been on enough dates at this point where he couldn't do the fade, he'd have to say something about not wanting to see me anymore. My gut tells me that's not going to happen. Third of all, did I mention the great sex? It's worth repeating.

As for Arty Adam... I don't know. We have IMed a few times since Saturday and he seems interested, but still no plans for a third date. He mentioned a bar he was interested in going to (one that I frequent) and I invited him to join my friend and me there this Saturday. He said he probably wouldn't be able to make it, he's not sure how his weekend is shaping up, but he'd call if he changed his mind. Which is fine, a third date with my friend present could be awkward. But how about a "maybe we could get together next week" or something along those lines? Not being sure how the weekend is shaping up means he's holding out for something better. Fair enough. I don't need to see him every weekend. I am just asking for some kind of indication that he does want to see me again. I'm really not sweating it.

So it looks like it will be a sex-free weekend. Oh well. Maybe I'll help PUA Rebel Leader reel in a nice girl or two when I meet him on Saturday.

Speaking of PUAs, I befriended another one!

For those just tuning in, I have a tendency to meet a lot of guys named David, way more than the average person. My first PUA encounter was even with a man named Dave. This PUA is named is David, too, but I don't think he's Trouble the way all those other Davids have been. And guess what, I didn't make out with him! Yes, it's actually possible for me to be friends with an attractive guy and not smooch him. I didn't think I had it in me.

Last night, PUA David, Pretty Polly and I went out to a couple of bars on the lower east side. At the second bar, his older brother joined us. Holy Hottie, Batman! While Polly and Hot Brother were chatting, I leaned over and told PUA David,

"Damn, your family has great genes!"

Hot Brother and I got into an involved conversation. He knows about the pick-up world, but doesn't participate. He knows that's how PUA David and I met. He knows I have a raunchy blog (though he hasn't read it) and am a bit involved with that scene myself.

Even so, we hit it off. He used to work for the same company that I work at now, so we had a lot to talk about. He's also an engaging guy and oh so friendly. He was encouraging me to develop one of my personal projects and mentioned that I was pretty (and sexy!) during the course of the conversation. Our body language was great, knees pressed together, and he'd often lean in really close to say something (yes, the music was loud, but still). He also complimented me on how I draw people in. The thing is, I wasn't sure if he was complimenting me because he was interested or because he was impressed with my interpersonal skills. For all I know, he might think I'm a player (I'm not!) and be wary of me.

This is where it all gets tricky. I met Hot Brother because of the blog. Under normal circumstances, I could just pester PUA David to set us up-- well, actually, I've already been doing that, but it feels more complicated. I have no idea if Hot Brother would entertain the idea of asking me out, but I think he'd lose interest immediately after reading about last weekend's sexathon.

It's ironic, because I've been meeting a lot of people through my blog, but I'm starting to realize how it could become a dating handicap, too. I'm not too worried about it, but it's something I need to bear in mind...

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

I didn't kiss you first night either. I'm sure you'll be smooching soon enough. ;)

~~Affection

Dolly said...

Logan, I just wrote about how I'm into his brother! I'm not about to go making out with every PUA I meet (especially since I keep meeting more and more of them!).

Hope your neck hasn't been too cold... ;)
XXOO

Charlie Brown said...

"If he's looking to build up a harem full of threesomes and MLTRs (multiple long term relationships), I'll pass, that's not my thing (yes, I know I currently have two guys on the go, but that's more a fluke than something I set out to do)."

Yeah sure, and you go for a third... You are a player yourself. You even read their stuff, lol. No offense though.

-- said...

I've had them do the fade on me after 3-4 dates, until there's been either a "talk" or some sort of regular schedule of hanging out, they can pull it... I'm sure you'll hear from him again, though, from what you say!

Mr. Right said...

PUA "David"? How exotic ;)

darius451 said...

I understand how explosive great sex can be for a woman, but I have to ask to what lengths would you go for it? I have always wondered how much a woman really values great sex, and what she is willing to sacrifice for it. BTW: I know I have said this before, but a big reason why I am so glad you have a blog, is your blunt honesty in your writing. This is so crucial in helping any guy out there learn more about women in general (haha, which probably isn't a major goal of yours as your write each day). I have asked girls I know these same questions, and their answers are always politically motivated BS, they always answer in the way they think I want them to. Whats excellent about your work, is your blunt honesty in your explanations--which is what we need.
On that note, I'll retire now, as I am little to drunk to be typing.

Rebel Leader said...

Hi Dolly! You are worried that Hot Brother would lose interest from reading on your blog you had a bunch of hot sex last weekend with two different guys. Is that because you're concerned you might come off slutty/playerish to him, or that you had the best sex of your life, and that's that act he'd have to follow?

Love, Rebel Leader

Larissa said...

'And guess what, I didn't make out with him!' -- that made me giggle.

As you know I've gone out on dates with guys that read my blog, and it didn't work out. It's hard when your 'secrets' are on the web for him to read. With that said, I wouldn't rule him out...but if you were to start seeing this guy, and he knows about the blog, I probably wouldn't provide intimate details in your entries if you write about him(even though people will be dying to read em). It's a Catch 22 my dear.

Dolly said...

Charlie,
The two guys in my life are not "relationships", they are guys I've seen a few times. I haven't heard from one all week and the other has been pretty quiet, too, so who knows if anything will go farther with either one! It's not being a player because ultimately what I want is to be with one guy. It's more a safety net, because these fellas can be so unpredictable.

Kristin,
I am by no means getting comfortable, I just think after these four dates it would be very weird (and rude!) for him to disappear without a word. I'd like to give this one the benefit of the doubt. We'll see.

Mr. Right,
Sorry, I wasn't feeling imaginative! :)

Dolly said...

Darius,
To be honest, I don't think a woman would go that far for hot sex (certainly not as far as a man would). If we're talking love, that's a whole other enchilada, but a gal doesn't think with her clitoris the way a guy thinks with his penis. I hate to sound all gooey, but for a woman, I think feeling loved and nurtured is more important. What Mystery says about making sure a woman feels comfortable and safe is so true. So no, I wouldn't jump through a lot of hoops for hot sex, I just take it as it (pun intended) comes.

Rebel Leader,
Yes.

Larissa,
I decided to go for it and emailed him a link to my site. He'd read it sooner or later, so why not sooner. So that's probably the end of Hot Brother.

Mary said...

Dolly, it's exhausting (but deliciously entertaining) just reading about your adventures with multiple men! I don't know how you're able to keep track of all of them so while there's a bit of envy here, there's also a big "phew" that I can live vicariously through you on this for awhile. ;)

Darius, I'd go far for great sex -- really far. For me, that's unfortunately (or fortunately) tied with how stimulated my mind is; I need that really strong love/desire/caring connection first. Disengaging my feelings from sex never works for me and god knows I've tried, heh.

NotMiranda said...

Maybe HotBrother will stick around. You never know. I do know that men should be confident enough to know about the blog and withstand the glare of the spotlight.

Dolly said...

Mary,
Last weekend was tiring, but there might not be any boys left to keep track of! Also, what you say about going far for hot sex, if it's in conjunction with mental and emotional stimulation, we're more in relationship territory here, aren't we?

NotMiranda,
I love your optimism. I am confident that when I find the right man, he will understand about the blog. That's why I sent the link to him today. Also, who knows, while I thought (and Polly thought) we were flirting a bit, he might be that friendly with *everyone*.

Anonymous said...

I have enjoyed your blog, and have read every entry and comment therein. Therefore, I am saddened to even image you entertained any relations with 42 yo PUA Dave. As a 44 yo father of a 28 yo female, I just can not imagine what either of you were thinking. I am not being judgmental, but you are twenty something, not thirty something. One seriously must consider the Pleiades effect when considering sexual relations with a man old enough to be their father. Not knowing your exact age, I do simple math. 42 yo - 16 yo = 26 yo offspring. I look at it mathematically, he may be just about the correct age to be your father. Odd, but true.

Rich said...

So Anon, it must provide you with great reassurance and at the same time great sadness knowing that the soul-mate you picked to have a child with could only have been born 15 years before or after you. that's a fairly shallow pool to be dipping into, especially if you're like me and intend to live forever.

And btw, I can't believe you just added the disclaimer that you're 'not being judgemental' and then made several clearly judgemental statements ;)

pawlr said...

Hey great blog! I didn't know there were women into PUAs qua PUAs, glad I know I don't necessarily have to keep hiding as I keep learning.. :)

Dolly said...

Rich,
Thanks for having my back on that one. While 42 is a bit old for me, I would not dismiss a man at that age if he was perfect for me in every other way. People fall in love with much younger/older men and women every day!

Pawlr,
It's true, there are women who are pretty laid back about the PU culture, but remember that there are more women who are going to have the wrong idea or preconceived notions about it. I'm not saying you should totally hide it, but you shouldn't flaunt it (but you already know that).

pawlr said...

Yep absolutely agree - how lame is it for a female to find out that a male is deceiving her right out of the gate? Especially before she's even hot for you, afterwards it doesn't usually matter so much.

Dolly said...

Pawlr,
No, it matters afterwards, too. A woman ends up feeling tricked and becomes more suspicious of men after that. Sure, there are some things that might be better off withheld, but deception will come back to you sooner or later. I have been so into complete honesty from guys recently. For example, TV Tyler put his major issues out on the table on our very first date, and I still really like him, maybe even moreso because he was straight with me from day one.

pawlr said...

I see your point but it kind of depends what the female is looking for, also some confusion on what I mean by "deceptive". I never deceive about what I want. I'm not interested at all in an LTR right now. Sometimes they will SAY that they're looking for something more but they know this about me going in.

By "deception" I guess I just meant concealing that i'm a "Pickup Artist", study the game, etc. which you rightly point out will scare women away. But I don't conceal that I'm seeing other people, if I'm asked. I kind of feel that early on its not her business anyhow, know what I mean, so I won't volunteer anything.

It all seems to kind of depend on the difference between concealment and deception, which is a subtle one but still.. necessary.

Thanks for the honest feedback.

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