In Search of My Blog

When I first started this blog, I was surprised how many people stumbled upon it incidentally, even before the Village Voice scandal. How could all these strangers be reading, just a few days after starting this blog?

Polly, ever the voice of reason, pointed out:

"It's because it has the word 'cock' in the title."

Oh yeah.

Since my drug-induced paranoia-filled text message to Film Felix on Friday, it's possible that he has made good on his threat to look for my blog. He's a bright guy and with a little ingenuity I think he could track it down. Especially considering how many people have found it without looking for it.

One of my favorite features of Sitemeter is the referral page. This is where I discover the wild and wonderful ways that people have come across my blog via search engines. Many of these are indeed cock-related. It's pretty much what you would expect:

what do you know about men cock
husband needs cock [that poor wife...]
dirty big cock pictures that can be emailed [the gift that keeps on giving]
she got hurt by big cock [that's a story she won't be sharing at the Christmas table]
male cocks big and small [because lord knows I have more female cocks than I know what to do with]
cock mother
blog coks [love the spelling!]
husband watch wife fuck monster cock
little people taking big cock

And my personal favorite (because the American Pie movie franchise didn't take it nearly far enough):

cock in pizza

Of course, if Film Felix did go looking for this blog, he could also find it by typing one of the following phrases into a search engine:

couples fucking after attending a wedding
boyfriend applications [Incidentally, I am still accepting these. Please be sure to include at least two references and a daytime phone number.]
Betty and Veronica online dolls
flesh player 8 [which I hear is a great improvement over flesh player 7]
Dolly Pardon pics
Dolly Pardon secret marriage
The correct fucking spelling of Dolly Parton's name [it's quite possible I made that one up]
knee touching under the table flirt
Clive Owen lookalike [maybe the next one I go out with won't be so freakishly bitter about his recent divorce]
love body parts xxx
fun sex [better than having my blog linked from a search for "tedious and mediocre sex," right?]

And my favorite of all favorites:

she saw the enormous bulge in his trousers

Lovely.

Alternately, Film Felix could do a search on:

wacky girl who dates my roommate then goes on date with me and is refreshingly brilliant and attractive and we have a wonderful time but I never call because I am dumb and don't like awesome girls