Met up with Podcast Penny and Coworker Chris last night. After a few drinks, Penny and I decided to head over to my neighborhood to check out a bar that isn't Cozy (dare I say I'm becoming a teeny bit tired of that place?).
We ended up at Book Bar, which is a couple of blocks away from Random Bar. I knew there was absolutely no way we could go to BT's place of work, but I felt a strong impulse to send him a text message. We exchanged a few texts earlier that day, so I didn't think it was totally off-base.
I know that perhaps it wasn't the best idea (I wasn't even drunk, just vaguely tipsy), but I decided that I didn't want to play the game of pretending not to be interested. I wanted to be the real me, and the real me really wanted to text him at that moment.
This is what I wrote:
At Book Bar. Would have stopped by Random Bar, but don't want to risk a restraining order before our first date. Guess I'll have to wait 'til Tuesday.
Bold move and could have Seriously Messed Things Up. Instead, we had the following text exchange over the course of the next twenty minutes:
BT: I actually called out sick. I'm home.
Me: Feel better. I'm still sniffly, but in denial.
BT: I miss you though.
[He does? I felt my stomach go all fluttery.]
Me: I miss you, too.
BT: I've got a crush on you.
[My jaw literally dropped open when I read that. Penny smiled, excited for me.]
Me: I.m blushing. And smiling.
BT: I still haven't figured out what we're doing.
Me: No pressure. I just want to hang out with you.
BT: Goodie. Me too.
Me: Get better.
BT: Thanks baby.
I put my phone away, beaming.
"This is so strange, Penny. It's all very BF/GF and we haven't even had our first date."
"It's been like that pretty much from the start," Penny knowingly replied.
"It has. That's so weird," I shook my head, puzzled.
This is where I try to keep a level head and not get my hopes up. The beginning needs to be about having fun, keeping things light, feeling good. There's plenty of time for things to get deep and complicated and emotionally tumultuous.
Right now, I feel good. Not thrilled that Tuesday is three whole fucking days away (four, if you count today), but I love having something like this to look forward to.