Sunday, January 15, 2006

Going for the Gold

Somebody kindly pointed out that it was Friday the 13th when I made a fool of myself in front of Keaton. There is also a full moon this weekend, so strange behavior should be excused. Nevertheless, I solemnly swear this is the last time I actively criticize a guy and pretend to find him deeply flawed, only to send him drunken text messages in the middle of the night telling him how hot I think he is. Lesson learned!

Keaton and I have been in touch and we're going to be friends. I think. I'm an adult with self-restraint, so I can go out with an attractive man without luring him into a dark corner and doing naughty things to him. I think.

Besides, I am following the wise words of Mae West:

"The best way to get over a man is to get under another one."

I may already have a date lined up for next week (I won't go into detail about the guy until it's confirmed, because he tends to be a little flaky).

I have also actively returned to the online personals network and actually writing to men, instead of waiting for them to fall at my feet. The goal is to go on three dates by the end of the month. Unless, of course, lightning strikes me, pigs start to fly, hell freezes over, and I actually meet someone I like in person who I instantly connect with and who likes me back. Oh, what silly ideas I get in my head sometimes. Then again, I am going to a party tonight, so who knows what might happen.

In an effort to evolve and experience new things, I have declared 2006 the year of saying "yes".

I read something very insightful in somebody's profile on the OP's a while ago. He said, many women out there seem to be looking for a reason to say no and to dismiss a man. He wanted a woman to look for reasons to say yes and give a man a chance.

I like that. I will look for more reasons to say yes. I usually like tall men, but I won't dismiss the short ones. I usually go for starving artists/geeks, but I won't dismiss the guys in law, finance, or medicine. I usually like guys at least a few years older than me, but I won't dismiss the ones that are my age or a bit younger. I won't be so quick to judge.

I'm feeling sexy today and I'm glad I'm going to be in a setting later where I'll be meeting new people. I feel confident, switched on, charming, a little naughty. I want to share all that positive energy.

There were a couple of times in the past week where I entered this dark tunnel of despair and loneliness. It was scary, but I genuinely believed that I would never have romance in my life ever again. It felt impossible. I have come through that tunnel, into the light, and am back in an upswing. For me, being optimistic is not a choice, it's a requirement.

It's going to happen soon, I just know it.


chelsea said...

I can feel the positivity from the other side of the world and believe me, it can make all the difference when you're on the lookout. When you feel positive you're more likely to spot oppotunities than when you're feeling negative and closed off. Good things are gonna happen!

Anonymous said...

Hi Dolly,

Since your so open about talking about sex, I'm going to throw this question your way. I admit to have a gag reflex with both the tongue and another part, that sometimes ends up also in the mouth.

I feel things beginning to heat up during a nice makeout session and then as it becomes more progressed I begin to worry. I feel the moment coming and I begin to turn my head. It just makes the guy even more aggressive with getting the tongue in. I don't know why I feel this way, it just happens.

Specially with the tongue, is there anything I can do? When I proceed to stop, when it gets thrust in, the guy gets really insulted and then moves away. And then even worse, nothing is more than a mood killer if you stop and explain that you just don't like doing that! Even having a few drinks does not help. Is this common, or is there anything I can do?

Signed, Thwarted by the pickle and bitting off more than I can chew!

Dolly said...

Chelsea, you couldn't be more right. Putting a positive, upbeat energy affects not only your interactions with others, but the way you are perceived, too. Who doesn't want to be around a happy, confident person? I had a great time last night, which I think is partly due to my optimism.

Anonymous, that is a tough predicament. I've heard of women having trouble with their gag reflex when it comes to oral sex, but not making out. I wonder if there are ways you can try to strengthen that reflex. Maybe you can suck on lollypops? If you get used to having things in your mouth, hopefully you won't be so likely to gag when it's not candy, but a part of someone's anatomy. In the meantime, it sounds like you're going to need to be honest with guys about your situation, but I think you can find a subtle way to phrase it, such as, "I'm not really into open-mouthed kissing". You should find yourself someone who will be able to respect your preference or be on the same wavelength when it comes to tongue use. I've been with guys that didn't kiss with a lot of tongue, and they were still good kissers, so there are people out there who aren't going to try to ram their tongue down your throat at the first given moment. Good luck!

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