Somebody kindly pointed out that it was Friday the 13th when I made a fool of myself in front of Keaton. There is also a full moon this weekend, so strange behavior should be excused. Nevertheless, I solemnly swear this is the last time I actively criticize a guy and pretend to find him deeply flawed, only to send him drunken text messages in the middle of the night telling him how hot I think he is. Lesson learned!
Keaton and I have been in touch and we're going to be friends. I think. I'm an adult with self-restraint, so I can go out with an attractive man without luring him into a dark corner and doing naughty things to him. I think.
Besides, I am following the wise words of Mae West:
"The best way to get over a man is to get under another one."
I may already have a date lined up for next week (I won't go into detail about the guy until it's confirmed, because he tends to be a little flaky).
I have also actively returned to the online personals network and actually writing to men, instead of waiting for them to fall at my feet. The goal is to go on three dates by the end of the month. Unless, of course, lightning strikes me, pigs start to fly, hell freezes over, and I actually meet someone I like in person who I instantly connect with and who likes me back. Oh, what silly ideas I get in my head sometimes. Then again, I am going to a party tonight, so who knows what might happen.
In an effort to evolve and experience new things, I have declared 2006 the year of saying "yes".
I read something very insightful in somebody's profile on the OP's a while ago. He said, many women out there seem to be looking for a reason to say no and to dismiss a man. He wanted a woman to look for reasons to say yes and give a man a chance.
I like that. I will look for more reasons to say yes. I usually like tall men, but I won't dismiss the short ones. I usually go for starving artists/geeks, but I won't dismiss the guys in law, finance, or medicine. I usually like guys at least a few years older than me, but I won't dismiss the ones that are my age or a bit younger. I won't be so quick to judge.
I'm feeling sexy today and I'm glad I'm going to be in a setting later where I'll be meeting new people. I feel confident, switched on, charming, a little naughty. I want to share all that positive energy.
There were a couple of times in the past week where I entered this dark tunnel of despair and loneliness. It was scary, but I genuinely believed that I would never have romance in my life ever again. It felt impossible. I have come through that tunnel, into the light, and am back in an upswing. For me, being optimistic is not a choice, it's a requirement.
It's going to happen soon, I just know it.