Wednesday, January 25, 2006

So nice, I get rejected twice

The last two emails I received were from boys. One was from a random cute guy I gave my card to while out with friends over the weekend. He wrote:

You passed me your contact info at [name of bar} on Saturday. Although you are not my type, I have to give you props for boldness (the card). I'm happy to make another friend if you like. I take it from the card that you [guesses about my job from company name]? How was the rest of your evening and weekend? My friend certainly seemed to enjoy his birthday party.

Not his type? Either his type must have a penis or he goes for dim, unattractive, banal girls. Ah well, can't please 'em all. As for making another friend, thank you but no thank you. There's a quote from a movie where a woman says, "I have enough friends. All the positions have been filled. I'll let you know if there's an opening." Exactly.

The other email was from Hipster Henry:

It was nice meeting you as well and I enjoyed the conversation. I have to be honest though and say that even though I did have a good time I really didn't feel the chemistry beyond good conversation and you being a nice and interesting person. I'd rather let you know that upfront rather than do the fade, simply because I think you're a nice person.

Isn't that nice?

So this is where I am. I have a date at the end of this week and if that one goes badly, I may need to cool it for a week or two. I'm starting to get drained from these random encounters that go nowhere. It's fun, but it's starting to get a little depressing.

I could handle getting one of the above notes, my skin is pretty thick, but to get two within a twelve-hour time period is... disheartening. It's hard to stay positive and believe it's going to happen for me again, muchless maintain my healthy ego. I should shake it off as a bad day and move on. I should, but I can't. What if I'm one of those women who isn't meant to find love in her 20's and will be alone for another decade or two? Or forever?


Larissa said...

you won't be dear! seems we're both in the same situation in terms of putting ourselves out there in the dating world right now. it's a roller coaster that's for sure, but at least we're making the effort and not sitting at home complaining about it. Props to you for taking action!

Judy said...

Oh, man! I was hoping you would have scored another date with Hipster Henry. It sounded like you had a great time and you liked him. I hate it when the feeling of chemistry is all one-sided. Or is totally ambiguous- when you walk away from a date wondering if he likes you.

By the way, why the hell would a random dude you slipped your card to email you to tell you he's not interested? What's up with that? Thanks for killing the mojo.

I have the same feelings you do- wondering if I'm going to be single forever. I rotate between those feelings and hope. It's a constant battle. At times, exhilarating, other times, exhausting. The moments of exhaustion and exhiliration give you great ammunition for the blog, though. (But as a super-awesome guy told me yesterday, "I'd trade all these dating war stories in for the right relationship.")

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Dolly said...

Larissa and Judy, I know you are fellow soldiers on the same battlefield (cue Pat Benatar). Yes, it makes for a rollercoaster of a blog, but I'd trade it all in for a happy relationship.

Kate, it's good to know that if things get particularly dire, I always have naked online personals to turn to!

Damn It Anyway said...

Ugh..i'm so sorry. Hey on the bright side, at least you know now rather than putting more emotional hope into it.

... jacek ... said...

hey, dont stress it, at least you got the balls to give dudes your card. but i godda warn you, some men are frightened by that. just have a good time when you go out, and expand your going outness, I dont know where you go or what you do, so this may seem a bit arbitrary, but bars and work functions are not necessarily the answer.

- J

Dolly said...

El, I know guys are sometimes put off when a woman makes the first move, so I don't do it very often. Besides, I'd like a man who will have the balls to pursue me. Thing is, I can be a little bold sometimes, and I need someone who is going to let me take the reins once in a while (and if I get too bossy... well, that's a different topic for a different post).

Believe me, I don't expect to meet men at work functions, nor do I want to create any tension within my career by burning any industry bridges. Pussy was a fluke. And yes, I do go to lots of bars, but more to spend time with my friends. If I meet someone, that's merely a positive byproduct. I'm curious where you think I should go to meet real Potentials. I certainly hope you don't suggest places like coffee shops, museums or bookstores, because lovely as they are, those places are not conducive to meeting people.

BigSend said...

Trust me on this, it makes you stronger (or stranger :))

Yac' said...

I just started reading a few articles of your blog, you seem to be much more active than a lot of "PU students" males ;) (which includes me).