Friday, January 20, 2006

With Friendsters like these...

Not to sound like Little Miss Popular, but I get a lot of guys contacting me through Friendster. Typically, they are not my type or somehow creep me out. There was the one guy whose friends were all scantily clad girls, whose photo was a torso shot of himself in boxers. I can't remember what he wrote, but I emailed him the following:


I expected not to hear from him again, but a few minutes later he sent me another email:

"I like you."

*throws hands in the air*

I got another note recently from a guy I have serious suspicions is a cardboard cutout. He is a lawyer, his favorite books are "legal thrillers", his favorite show is Law and Order, favorite movie is Top Gun and favorite singer Billy Joel. He's probably a nice guy but a little (read: a lot) too generic for me. But who knows, now that Jessica Simpson is single again, maybe he's got a shot.

A couple of days ago, I got an interesting note from someone on Friendster. He came right out and asked if I wanted to meet for a drink. His profile was a nice reflection of his artsy pursuits, his photos cute, and there was something familiar about him, so I agreed. (It takes some nerve to ask a girl out, so I always give people points for that.)

Yesterday, he sent me an email asking if I wanted to meet that night at a neighborhood bar (we both live in the same area, so I'll call him Local Larry). Normally, I wouldn't agree to a last minute date so late in the evening, but this is the year of saying "yes" more, remember? My gut told me to shuffle some things around and meet him.

I reached the bar first. I hate it when I get there first. I got myself a glass of wine, tried not to feel too awkward, and sat at a table close to the front door. I started getting that dreaded feeling of the About-to-be-Stood-Up. Five past the hour. Ten past the hour. I'd give it 30 minutes, tops.

My phone rang.

It wasn't Local Larry, it was a friend, saving me from the embarrassment of Waiting-For-Someone-Who-Might-Not-Show-Up. She and I chatted with her for a few minutes, until I saw him enter the bar, about 15 minutes late. I hung up and didn't say anything about the time. He did not apologize or offer an explanation. He lives a few minutes away from the bar! What possible excuse could he have had? Plus, I gave him my phone number and, unless you are stuck somewhere without phone reception, if you are going to be more than ten minutes late, you should call.

Bad way to kick things off, Larry.

He got himself a beer, and we started talking. Turns out he went to the same high school and college as a friend of mine. When he mentioned thinking of pursuing the same career that said friend has, I was thrown and said it's like they were living parallel lives. His response?

"Maybe I should meet your friend."

Excuse me if I'm being too sensitive here, but if I'm out with a guy for the first time, I think even joking about being set up with one of my female friends is tacky. I mean, how about being in the moment and at least feigning interest in the person sitting across from you?

Despite not feeling any physical attraction to Local Larry and being put off by those two little things, we kept talking, and the conversation did become more interesting. However, not interesting enough for me to want to get a second drink. Especially after his third faux-pas.

The bar where we met was his local, which is already a bad idea for a first date (do you want to risk running into that person again and do you want the possibility of familiar faces interrupting the mood?). There were two moments where friends of his approached him to say hello. He would turn away, chat for a minute or two, and then turn back to me.

He never introduced me to his friends.

This would be fine if he did it once. Maybe it was someone whose name he couldn't remember, or someone he didn't like much. The second time, as we were leaving, it was a girl with a group of friends. She introduced her friends to Local Larry, and they even glanced at me. A person with any sense of manners would have taken that moment to say,

"This is Dolly."

Instead, I waited until he was done talking to the girl, buttoning my coat very slowly because I had nothing else to do.

We said an awkward good-bye outside and he said we should keep in touch.

He wasn't that bad to talk to, and it would be nice to know more people in my neighborhood, but I'm starting to think I have enough friends. Friends with good manners.


Judy said...

Wow- sounds like a fun night! At least you didn't go out of your way for the dude.

I went out with a girlfriend last night-one who's been dating the same guy for 2 1/2 years. She left the boyfriend home. So, of course it stands to reason that all the guys were flirting with her....... Sigh.

At least I was home in time for The OC....

I'm telling ya, Dolly, sometimes I think we are in parallel universes....

Homosexual Suspect said...

Local Larry? Dolly, really, the year is for saying yes and all, I realize that, but how about saying yes to keeping your dignity! Dolly, you know the rule, you're always busy on the first time they ask you out, and then you say, "We'll see" for the second time, and then you offer the third date time and they accept.

Or, if you're me, you just call and hope they hang on the line long enough to get their address. Hypocrisy is a real bitch, huh? That's what I need to work on!

Dolly said...

Judy, I can't imagine how frustrating it must be to go out with a girl who gets all the attention. When I go out with my prettiest friends, usually we're lucky to get collective male attention.

HS, you little rascal, I did no harm to my dignity by agreeing to a spontaneous drink in my neighborhood. Normally I'm not that available, but I decided to say "fuck it" in that instance. Nevertheless, I don't believe in playing hard to get and pretending to be aloof. I'm not a Rules girl. One of my upcoming dates might be tricky to schedule, but that's not because I'm being coy, but genuinely busy!

Homosexual Suspect said...

I think there really is nothing wrong with being a "Rules" girl since most guys are, in fact, "Rules" guys (e.g. if I tell a girl I love her, she will give it up). But, I can respect your willingness to try new things and be open to not pre-juding them. Can you give me some lessons?

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