Resisting Burnout

Something I always try to keep in mind when I'm going through one of my manic dating periods is how easy it is to burn out. Meeting so many people can be extremely draining. Sooner or later some down time is needed to recharge.

Rather than go on a dating hiatus, I'd rather bring social activity down a notch. I'm more interested in being with friends at the moment.

I'm also preparing myself for my rotation to dry up. I'm not holding my breath for either TV Tyler or Arty Adam to get in touch, especially the former. Pretty Polly is fond of saying that after three dates, it either goes somewhere or it doesn't (and it usually doesn't). Wouldn't you know it, there is no fourth date on the horizon with Tyler. I have to admit, that saddens me on a couple of levels. I did think we had a good rapport and there was potential for something more, which surprised me. But we also had such a strong physical connection that I'm a little baffled why he wouldn't want to continue at least that part of our interaction. I certainly didn't act needy in any way, and I know I didn't do anything to scare him off, so maybe he's just not feeling it. Hey, it happens. Arty Adam is still up in the air. He gets back from his trip today, so I don't expect to hear from him before early next week.

In the meantime, rather than try to fill in the gaps or add to my rotation, I'm going to focus on being with friends and low key solo activity (after all the bar hopping, an afternoon spent reading a book sounds really appealing).

Of course, it's easier said than done.

On Wednesday, I went to an industry event, to catch up with some acquaintances and do a bit of networking. At the bar, I told one of my friends that I was all about chatting with the girls and how the last thing on my mind was meeting anyone (especially at an industry gig, which always lacks Potentials). I had a great time talking to the ladies and spent a portion of the evening at a corner table, away from the main socializing that was going on.

One of the new women I met decided to mingle and I joined her.

We ended up in a cluster of two women and one man. The guy was attractive (he had a brooding Italian/Mediterranean thing going on), but was obviously a player. More cocky than funny. But we somehow got on the topic of confidence and how important it is to convey it (my favorite soapbox of late, so I'll spare the details). I don't even remember what it was, but I said something that really connected with him. I saw a flash in his eyes, he smiled, and held out his hand,

"I'm Player Peter."

"I'm Dolly." I smirked and shook his hand.

It wasn't long before our flirting alienated the three girls in our group.

I could tell Player Paul was not a PUA, though he probably wished he was. There were things he did that were too amateur, like not creating a playful, lighthearted vibe. He was hot, but a little too braggy and overtly seductive. Also, he went out for a cigarette and when he returned, he didn't use a breath mint or gum, so he smelled strongly of smoke (I'm actually cool with moderate smokers, but ones that indulge a lot need to have the breath fresheners handy). Even so, I was amused by his bravado and attracted to him, despite not trusting him the slightest bit.

We exchanged business cards; I wrote my personal email on mine, telling him (say it with me now) that I hate the phone.

He said something along the lines of, "Oh, does that mean I'm going to have to make the first move and get in touch with you?"

"Of course."

I left him for a few minutes to talk to a few more people on their way out and gather my things.

When I found Player Peter again, he was talking to some Asian girl at the bar.

"I don't mean to interrupt your game, I just wanted to say good-bye."

He said I should come back to his place.

"I can't, I want to make it an early night tonight."

"Come on, we can smoke a bowl."

Can we really? After that, can we also play some beer pong? Pretty please? Better yet, can we listen to Phish and play hackeysack?

(This isn't to say I am against getting stoned; I am merely against getting propositioned by someone I met an hour ago to get stoned before we even have a single date.)

"Sorry, I can't."

He accepted defeat and I hugged him goodbye. I kissed him on the cheek and then (I'm sure you could see this coming a mile away) we kissed on the lips. A very nice kiss actually.

I left Player Peter to do his best (or worst) on the Asian Girl.

This was what was supposed to be a quiet, girl-and-networking-infused Wednesday evening. I don't know what's wrong with me. I wasn't trying; if anything I was actively not trying. But fate keeps putting all these kissable boys in my path.

I know I should probably take a break from all of this soon, just to stay balanced. I should, but will I?